


And There's Things We'd Like to Change

by champagne_enema



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: !!!, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Chatting & Messaging, Coran Coran The Gorgeous Man, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Literary References & Allusions, M/M, Memes, Mutual Pining, NYMATT IS PURE DONT @ ME, References to Musicals, Texting, Y i k e s, and now introducing:, lmao it's me so of course there's angst, lots of pining, more angst bc I live for drama, plot??????, shiro is gru pass it on, so many vine references, this is just a big shitpost tbh, too many memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-04-22 00:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14297253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/champagne_enema/pseuds/champagne_enema
Summary: loverrboy:YOloverrboy:SO MR SENDAK JUST WALKED INTO CORANS CLASSloverrboy:AND CORAN DEADASS CALLED HIM “SENDICK”loverrboy:TO HIS FACEloverrboy:IM LIVINGhunkalunk:it's true, I was therepidgeotto:not all heroes wear capes





	1. praise corn

**Author's Note:**

> group chat fics are generic but really fun to write and really stress relieving??? like writing this helped with my writer's block so yeah that's a plus AND apparently shance gc fics are super rare so I decided to provide the good kush™
> 
> most of the things written are based off of real life experiences, whether they happened to me or to friends of mine
> 
> so for reference here are everyone's usernames:  
> Lance: loverrboy  
> Hunk: hunkalunk  
> Pidge: pidgeotto  
> Keith: existential.crisis,  
> Shiro: daddy  
> Allura: spacePrincess  
> Matt: datboi  
> Shay: sunnyhoney  
> Lotor: L'oreal  
> Nyma: lalalalalala  
> Rolo: blaze_it  
> Plaxum: merbitch  
> Axca: buttercup  
> Ezor: bubbles  
> Zethrid: mojojojo
> 
> //title from love me by the 1975//

 

_(7:45 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_keef the furry_**

**loverrboy:** YO

**loverrboy:** SO MR SENDAK JUST WALKED INTO CORANS CLASS

**loverrboy:** AND CORAN DEADASS CALLED HIM “SENDICK”

**loverrboy:** TO HIS FACE

**loverrboy:** IM LIVING

**hunkalunk:** it's true, I was there

**pidgeotto:** not all heroes wear capes

**loverrboy:** i wish I could've gotten his face on camera

**daddy:** Lance, you shouldn't be on your phone in class.

**loverrboy:** you're in class too don't @ me

**pidgeotto:** coran is a god

**spacePrincess:** p r a i s e h i m

**loverrboy:** I weep at his alter

**daddy:** altar***

**loverrboy:** YA KNOW WHAT SHIRO

**loverrboy:** >:(((((

**pidgeotto:** shiro stop bullying Lance

**pidgeotto:** we're trying to worship coran smh

**loverrboy:** smh my head

**_pidgeotto_ ** _has changed the chat name to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_**  

**spacePrincess:** why is shiro only active in the chat when hes bullying lance????

**spacePrincess:** coincidence?

**pidgeotto:** I THINK NOT

**existential.crisis:** what did I walk in to?

**existential.crisis:** its too early for this shit

**loverrboy:** it's never too early to respect coran keefy

**pidgeotto:** coran deserves better than this

**existential.crisis:** I have no words

**loverrboy:** sounds like something a degenerate from sixth period would say

**existential.crisis:** what's wrong with sixth period??????

**loverrboy:** you guys are always disrespecting Mr. Coran

**loverrboy:** there's a reason your period can't eat in his class anymore

**existential.crisis:** how do you even know that???

**pidgeotto:** he literally has it written on the board

**pidgeotto:** which you would know

**pidgeotto:** IF YOU PAYED ATTENTION IN HIS CLASS

**loverrboy:** >:((((

**spacePrincess:** smh my head

**hunkalunk:** Lance can you please pay attention

**hunkalunk:** I don't want to have to lend you my notes later

**daddy:** so you go on and on about respecting Mr. Coran and yet you're on your phone in his class

**daddy:** the hypocrisy

**pidgeotto:** SMH MY HEAD

**spacePrincess:** for shame

**loverrboy:** this is cyberbullying I'm calling the police

 

_(8:15 am)_ **_datboi_** _to_ ** _PRAISE CORAN_**

**datboi:** wow for once the chat was lit

**datboi:** and I missed it

**pidgeotto:** cuz u hav the big gey

**loverrboy:** ha gotteem

**datboi:** don't make me tell mom

**pidgeotto:** I fear nothing

**datboi:** you're deathly afraid of rolly pollies

**loverrboy:** no shit?????!

**loverrboy:** BUT THEY'RE SO CUTE

**pidgeotto:** they're literally devil spawn

**hunkalunk:**??????

**hunkalunk:** they're adorable

**pidgeotto:** that is not correct

**loverrboy:** I used to live rolly pollies

**loverrboy:** love***

**loverrboy:** I'd hold them in my hand and play with them all the time

**pidgeotto:** Mr Smith chased me with one once

**pidgeotto:** he didn't stop until I started crying

**daddy:** it's true I was there

**daddy:** I was the TA and was the one who told him you were scared of them

**daddy:** man junior year was fun

**datboi:** not all heros wear capes

**pidgeotto:** I actually hate you Shiro

**loverrboy:** didn't think it was possible to admire Shiro more

**pidgeotto:** calm your thirst

**hunkalunk:** you're so full of shit Lance everyday you have something new to cry about

**loverrboy:** don't @ me >:(((

**pidgeotto:** @lance

**spacePrincess:** @loverrboy

**datboi:** @lance

**hunkalunk:** @lance

**daddy:** @loverrboy

**existential.crisis:** @lance

**sunnyhoney:** hey guys!!!

**sunnyhoney:** oh

**sunnyhoney:** @lance

**loverrboy:** I'm calling the police

 

_(10:45 am)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_thot squad_**

**spacePrincess:** I think I'm in love

**lalalalalala:** gross

**spacePrincess:** why is he so perfect????

**loverrboy:** I stg if this is about lotor I'm going to kermit suicide

**lalalalalala:** no balls

**spacePrincess:** yeah it's about lotor

**bubbles:** ew

**bubbles:** honey you could do so much better

**bubbles:** I've known that boy my whole life and he is sooooo not worth it

**spacePrincess:** don't ruin my dreams

**lalalalalala:** can we talk about anything BUT lotwhore

**loverrboy:** I WHEEZED

**loverrboy:** we could talk about Shiro

**loverrboy:** and his abs

**loverrboy:** yummmm

**bubbles:** ew boys

**buttercup:** why am I here again?

**bubbles:** bc I need emotional support

**bubbles:** too many heteros in this chat

**loverrboy:** gross heteros

**spacePrincess:** no one wants to hear about your stupid crush on Shiro, Lance

**lalalalalala:** SHOTS FIRED

**merbitch:** I want to hear about Lance's crush on Shiro

**loverrboy:** THANK YOU PLAX

**loverrboy:** finally someone who cares about me

**merbitch:** us hoes gotta stick together

**merbitch:** then talk mad shit behind each other's backs

**loverrboy:** marry me

 

_(12:13 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_existential.crisis_**

**pidgeotto:** so

**pidgeotto:** we still on for Friday?

**existential.crisis:** hell yeah

 

_(12:49 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_**

**existential.crisis:** I hate sendicks class

**loverrboy:** I hate your face

**loverrboy:** lmao

**loverrboy:** what did he do this time?

**existential.crisis:** he keeps talking about the tennis team

**existential.crisis:** and how he's from El Centro

**datboi:** lmao Shiro and I wrote a song about his obsession with El Centro when we had him last year

**daddy:** don't remind me

**daddy:** he was the worst

**datboi:** have you read “things fall apart” yet?

**existential.crisis:** nah we're still on the epic of Gilgamesh

**datboi:** gasundheit

**loverrboy:** that's what you get for taking regular English >:)))

**loverrboy:** while you're reading gilga-whatever, we are reading the glass castle

**loverrboy:** A TRUE work of art

**pidgeotto:** ohhhhman I LOVE the glass castle

**pidgeotto:** I hate being a sophomore

**datboi:** ha nerd

**loverrboy** : Jeanette deserves better

**hunkalunk:** FACTS

**daddy:** we never read that one

**daddy:** what's it about?

**loverrboy:** this is gonna take a while

**loverrboy:** settle down students, your teacher lanceylance has the mic

**loverrboy:** you may refer to me as papi or big thunda

**pidgeotto:** shut up and tell us already you big nerd

**loverrboy:** *ahem*

**loverrboy** : so the book itself is an autobiography technically

**loverrboy:** fun fact I had no idea that it was all real until half way through the book

**loverrboy** : anyway it's about this girl named Jeannette Walls and her suuuper dysfunctional familu

**loverrboy:** family*

**loverrboy:** her mom is an artist (and a bitch tbh I hate her guts) and her dad is like a genius and shit

**loverrboy:** but he's also an alcoholic so rip

**loverrboy:** and they move around a bunch and do all kinds of crazy shit

**loverrboy:** it's crazy good but really depressing bc her life just sucks ass bc her larents are assholes who suck at taking care of children

**loverrboy:** parents*

**daddy:** sounds interesting

**loverrboy:** if you want I can lend you my copy?

**daddy:** yeah I'd like that

**daddy:** and then we can talk about it together

**loverrboy:** it's a date ;)

 

_(1:13 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _added_ **_hunkalunk, spacePrincess, existential.crisis, sunnyhoney,_ ** _and_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_operation shance_**

**pidgeotto:** they are so transparent

**spacePrincess:** honestly!!!!

**hunkalunk:** how much you wanna bet they get together before the semester ends?

**spacePrincess:** too easy

**existential.crisis:** what is shance?

**existential.crisis:** im confused

**datboi:** Keith right now: I am confusion!! America explain!!!

**spacePrincess:** lmao

**pidgeotto:** shance is lance and Shiro's ship name

**pidgeotto:** because those kids are pining like a pine tree

**datboi:** a Chris pine

**pidgeotto:** would you stop quoting vines

**datboi:** vine or death

 

_(1:15 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_**

**pidgeotto:** that was gay

**hunkalunk:** Pidge

**sunnyhoney:** that book sounds really good

**sunnyhoney:** Keith and I have the same English period so we're suffering

**existential.crisis:** kill me

**loverrboy:** gladly

**daddy:** Lance

**loverrboy:** don't @ me

**datboi:** @lance

**loverrboy:** not this again

 

_(2:39 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_hunkalunk_**

**loverrboy:** hey do you wanna get milkshakes on the way home?

**hunkalunk:** bro

**hunkalunk:** yes

**loverrboy:** <3

 

_(3:01 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _sent an image to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_**

**spacePrincess:** are you two

**spacePrincess:** getting milkshakes

**spacePrincess:** without us?

**loverrboy:** read it and weep bitch

 

_(3:59 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_bring back grumio 2k18_**

**loverrboy:** did either of you get the page numbers for the vocab quiz tomorrow?

**pidgeotto:** wait you're gonna actually study?

**loverrboy:** lmao no wtf

**loverrboy:** I just wanna take a pic so I can cheat duhh

**pidgeotto** : you don't even have to do that tbh

**pidgeotto:** I don't even write anything down when he gives out quizes

**pidgeotto:** just tell him you got a perfect score

**existential.crisis:** I draw dicks on my paper

**loverrboy:** sometimes I feel bad for cheating though

**pidgeotto:** dont

**pidgeotto:** he's the dumbass who trusts a bunch of teenagers to be honest about their test scores

**pidgeotto:** one time Matt told him he got a 58 on one of the quizes

**loverrboy:** that's not possible??? his quizes are only like 20 points max

**pidgeotto:** I know!!! and dunia still gave him a 58 on powerschool

**existential.crisis:** no shit??????

**loverrboy:** your brother is a god among men

**loverrboy:** hey Pidge can I marry your brother?

**pidgeotto:** we all know you wanna marry his best friend

**pidgeotto:** don't act like you don't

**loverrboy:** obviously

**loverrboy:** Shiro is one sexy motherfucker

**pidgeotto:** gross

**pidgeotto:** I've known him since diapers that's just nasty

**existential.crisis:** how do you think I feel??? he's my COUSIN

**loverrboy:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/ ¯

 

_(2:22 am)_ **_daddy_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_**

**daddy:** anyone awake?

**loverrboy:** unfortunately

**daddy:** mood

**loverrboy:** can't sleep?

**daddy:** nah I've been having really bad pain in my arm that's been keeping me up

**daddy:** which fucking sucks because it's not even there??? so it's not like I can take some Tylenol and be done with it because technically the pain isn't even real

**loverrboy:** jesus that sucks

**loverrboy:** I'm sorry dude

**daddy:** its fine

**daddy** : what're you up to?

**loverrboy:** nm just watching a movie

**daddy:** what movie?

**loverrboy:** it's called across the universe

**loverrboy:** have you seen it?

**daddy:** don't think so

**daddy:** what's it about?

**loverrboy:** it's a musical, actually

**loverrboy:** it takes place during Vietnam

**loverrboy:** uhm and it's all Beatles songs so it's a definite bop

**daddy:** sounds interesting

**loverrboy:** I uh

**loverrboy:** I just started it

**loverrboy:** so if you want

**loverrboy:** we could maybe

**loverrboy:** watch it together?

**daddy:** I'd love to

 

_(5:22 am) **sunnyhoney** to **operation shance**_

**sunnyhoney:** did you guys check the group chat?

**sunnyhoney:** they're adorable <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> believe it or not I am afraid of rolly pollies and had that exact conversation with my friends and yes, my P.E. coach did chase me with one after finding out in my sophomore year of high school
> 
> the bring back grumio chat is referring to the cambridge Latin 1 textbook, where one of the characters is named grumio. he isn't in the Latin 2 textbook, which is the class that Pidge Keith and lance are in


	2. salty hunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More shance, more vines, and ungodly musical references. Lotor is finally introduced. Also, angst. oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like,,,, just fyi click on the link when it says me.is or else all of that shit wont make sense lol

_(7:26 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**datboi:** man I am one sleepy boi

 **spacePrincess:** oh worm?

 **datboi:** lol stop

 **datboi:** I stayed up watching a new anime

 **spacePrincess:** weeaboo

 **datboi:** u rite

 **spacePrincess:** unfortunately

 **datboi:** at least I didn't stay up watching a musical

 **datboi:** with my cruuuuuush

 **spacePrincess:** matt

 **spacePrincess:** c'mon

 **daddy:** MATT

 **datboi:** ;))))))

 **daddy:** I hate you

 

 _(8:18 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**loverrboy:** SO

 **loverrboy:** CORAN IS TELLING US ABOUT THE NZ MILITARY

 **loverrboy:** I CANT BRETAH

 **datboi:** bretah

 **loverrboy:** shut up holt

 **loverrboy:** ANYWAY APPARENTLY THEY DIDNT AHVE BULLETS FRO TGEIR GUNS

 **datboi:** wow u really suck at typing lmao

 **loverrboy:** SO TGEY HAD TO YELL “BULLETS” DURING PRACTICE INSTEAD OF SHOOTING EACH OTHER

 **loverrboy:** do you wanna fight me matt?

 **datboi:** I want to die

 **daddy:** I heard death

 **daddy:** I'm in

 

 _(8:23 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_daddy_ **

**datboi:** you wish you were IN lance ;))

 **daddy:** god I hate you

 

 _(8:24 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**loverrboy:** death always sounds good

 **daddy:** you always sound good

 **daddy:** I mean

 **loverrboy:** LMAO that was a good one

 **loverrboy:** anyway so yeah coran is a riot

 

 _(8:25 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_daddy_ **

**datboi:** smooth moves casanova

 **daddy:** shut your face

 

 _(8:25 am)_ **_sunnyhoney_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**sunnyhoney:** lol I love coran

 **sunnyhoney:** I have him third period

 **pidgeotto:** at least you don't have him for...

 **pidgeotto:** *shudders*

 **pidgeotto:** sixth period…

 **loverrboy:** the period from hell

 **hunkalunk:** it's fun having him first period because we get his jokes before anyone else

 **hunkalunk:** plus he lets me and Lance sit together, which most teachers don't normally allow

 **sunnyhoney:** why not?

 **loverrboy:** because we're best bros

 **hunkalunk:** Bros for life

 **loverrboy:** broskis

 **hunkalunk:** our bromance is eternal

 **loverrboy:** <3

 **pidgeotto:** stop being gay

 **pidgeotto:** in my good Christian server

 **datboi:** >:(((

 **loverrboy:** but it's no homo

 **datboi:** then that's okay

 **sunnyhoney:**?

 **hunkalunk:** shh baby just let it happen

 **loverrboy:** Shay do you mind if I date your boyfriend

 **loverrboy:** no homo, of course

 **sunnyhoney:** as long as you wash your hands first

 **hunkalunk:** babe why

 **sunnyhoney:** :)

 

 _(9:32 am)_ **_merbitch_ ** _to_ **_thot squad_ **

**merbitch:** are y'all ready for auditions for the fall play today????

 **spacePrincess:** I was born ready baby

 **lalalalalala:** hell yeah plax

 **bubbles:** if we all don't get in, we riot

 **buttercup:** I mean I don't think it's that big of a deal

 **buttercup:** I'm not even auditioning

 **loverrboy:** but you're a lesbian

 **loverrboy:** a thesbian, if you will

 **buttercup:** I'm only doing crew to hang out with ez so

 **bubbles:** aw babe <3

 **loverrboy:** gayyyy

 **mojojojo:** I kinda don't care either

 **mojojojo:** I'm sticking to backstage

 **merbitch:** I take back my statement then

 **merbitch:** are Allura, Lance, Nyma, and Ezor ready for auditions?

 **loverrboy:** I'm so excited

 **loverrboy:** I feel a song coming on

 **loverrboy:** I LOVE PLAY REHEARSAL~

 **bubbles:** not now Lance

 **bubbles:** we can't become Christine until we get in

 **spacePrincess:** christiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

 **lalalalalala:** these bmc references are burning my retinas

 **lalalalalala:** please quote something that isn't trash

 **loverrboy:** EXCUSE ME

 **loverrboy:** bmc is actually pretty good????

 **merbitch:** ^^^

 **lalalalalala:** it's alright

 **lalalalalala:** I just think it's too all over the place

 **bubbles:** I'm still bopping to more than survive sorry

 **bubbles:** c-c-c-c’mon c-c-c-c’mon

 **loverrboy:** GO! GO!

 **lalalalalala:** okay more than survive is good

 **merbitch:** I'm still crying over Michael in the bathroom bye

 **loverrboy:** don't EVEN get me started :((((

 **mojojojo:** I'm lost

 **buttercup:** we're bad thesbians

 **loverrboy:** smh my head

 

 _(10:03 am)_ **_L'oreal_ ** _to_ **_spacePrincess_ **

**L'oreal:** is this Allura?

 **spacePrincess:** yeah,,,

 **L'oreal:** it's Lotor

 **L'oreal:** about the project for history through film

 **spacePrincess:** oh!

 **spacePrincess:** yeah yeah cool cool

 **spacePrincess:** do you want me to create a group chat with all of us?

 **L'oreal:** that would work, yes

 **L'oreal:** but we can keep texting alone

 **L'oreal:** if you'd like

 **spacePrincess:** o

 **spacePrincess:** definitely :)

 

 _(10:05 am)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _added_ **_L'oreal, loverrboy, daddy, datboi,_ ** _and_ **_blaze_it_ ** _to_ **_Film_ ** **Project**

 **spacePrincess:** so obviously this is for the film for HTF

 **spacePrincess:** roll call go!

 **loverrboy:** ya boy lance here ;)

 **daddy:** Shiro. don't ask about the name

 **L'oreal:** Lotor

 **blaze_it:** rolo is present

 **datboi:** Hi my name is Matt with a B and I've been scared of insects my whole life

 **loverrboy:** ｗｈｅｒｅ＇ｓ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｅ？

 **spacePrincess:** oh cool everyone is on

 **spacePrincess:** I'm obviously Allura if you didn't know

 **spacePrincess:** so does anyone have any ideas on who to do the project on

 **blaze_it:** I was absent the day we went over the project

 **blaze_it:** so what are we doing again?

 **daddy:** we have to pick an influential American figure and create a 5 to 10 minute film about their life

 **loverrboy:** can we do al Capone

 **spacePrincess:** no

 **loverrboy:** cmonnnnnnnn

 **loverrboy:** please????????

 **daddy:** no lance

 **loverrboy:** fine

 **loverrboy:** what about a musical

 **datboi:** the only ones with musical talent in this group are you and Allura

 **datboi:** so no

 **loverrboy:** Shiro can sing

 **daddy:** I refuse to do a musical

 **loverrboy:** you're no fun :(

 **spacePrincess:** can we focus?

 **L'oreal:** we could do Nikola Tesla

 **loverrboy:** I read a book with him in it once

 **loverrboy:** he was on the Titanic

 **loverrboy:** it was a weird book

 **spacePrincess:** I'm okay with doing Tesla

 **spacePrincess:** all in favor say aye

 **loverrboy:** ayyy

 **daddy:** aye

 **datboi** : aye aye captain

 **loverrboy** : I can't heeeeaaar youuuuuuu

 **L'oreal:** no SpongeBob please

 **loverrboy** : buzzkill

 **blaze_it:** I mean I'm not picky

 **blaze_it:** so Tesla sounds good I guess

 **datboi:** we can do it about Edison trying to assassinate him

 **loverrboy:** wait for real???

 **L'oreal:** no

 **loverrboy:** stick in the mud

 **daddy:** I thought those were just rumors?

 **datboi:** yeah but thace said we could take creative liberties so

 **L'oreal:** we're not doing our film on a conspiracy

 **loverrboy:** the only thing I know about Tesla is that he loved pigeons

 **datboi:** Tesla loved my sister??????

 **daddy:** lmao

 **loverrboy:** birb boi

 **L'oreal:** *sigh*

 

 _(12: 29 am)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_RESPECT CORAN_ **

**spacePrincess:** yo so

 **spacePrincess:** Lotor and I have been talking

 **spacePrincess:** and we actually have a lot in common???

 **loverrboy:** gross

 **loverrboy:** begone THOT

 **spacePrincess:** I don't get why you don't like him??

 **spacePrincess:** he's actually a really cool guy once you talk to him

 **loverrboy:** I just think he's a fake ass hoe noah fence

 **loverrboy:** he's too,,,,, perfect

 **loverrboy:** and his hair makes me angry

 **spacePrincess:** y???

 **loverrboy:** it's so silky and pretty

 **loverrboy:** I wish I had hair like that

 **pidgeotto:** so you're jealous?

 **loverrboy:** nO

 **loverrboy:** I just,,,,,,,,,,,

 **loverrboy:** really love his hair okay whatever it's not a big deal

 **daddy:** are you

 **daddy:** interested in guys with long hair?

 **loverrboy:** I mean kinda?

 **loverrboy:** I've always thought boys with wavy long hair are super cute but

 **loverrboy:** I don't think Lotor's hair is hot I'm just lowkey jealous lol

 **existential.crisis:** so this whole time

 **existential.crisis:** you've been pining after my mullet

 **loverrboy:** NO EW

 **loverrboy:** objectively I think you're attractive don't get me wrong but you're not my type

 **daddy:** so

 **daddy:** what exactly IS your type, then?

 

 _(12:36 pm)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_operation shance_ **

**spacePrincess:** he is

 **spacePrincess:** so obvious????????

 **pidgeotto:** ten bucks says Shiro starts growing out his hair mysteriously

 **datboi:** lmao I won't bet against it because I know I'd lose

 **datboi:** this boy is smitten as fuck

 **existential.crisis:** unfortunately

 **spacePrincess:** ten bucks says Lance describes Shiro in perfect detail

 

 _(12:37 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to **PRAISE CORAN** _

**loverrboy:** uhm

 **loverrboy:** I guess I really like someone in shape

 **loverrboy:** girl wise I'm not very picky, bc girls are amazing tbh

 **loverrboy:** man I love girls

 **loverrboy:** but with boys I like them to be on the bigger side

 **loverrboy:** kinda bulky muscular

 **loverrboy:** and of course I love curly surfer boy hair

 **loverrboy:** like ezra miller hair

 **spacePrincess:** I fucking love ezra miller

 **datboi:** I'm straight as fuck and that boy gets me moist tbh

 **pidgeotto:** I'm ace and he gets my gears going lmao

 **datboi:** gross don't say that

 **pidgeotto:**?????????

 

 _(12:39 pm)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_daddy_ **

**datboi:** you okay?

 **datboi:** you kinda ditched the gc

 **daddy:** I'm thinking about growing out my hair

 **datboi:** OH MY GOD

 

 _(12:40 pm)_ **_datboi_ ** _sent an image to_ **_operation shance_ **

**datboi:** CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS

 **spacePrincess:** are you serious

 **pidgeotto:** he is so smitten dear god

 **existential.crisis:** why is he like this????

 **sunnyhoney:** I think it's cute <3

 

 _(12:42 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**loverrboy:** I've never met someone who doesn't live Ezra miller

 **loverrboy:** live*

 **loverrboy:** love****

 **loverrboy:** FUCK

 **datboi:** lmao live

 **loverrboy:** do you wanna go?

 **datboi:** hell yeah McClain

 **loverrboy:** meet me at the flagpole, 3 o'clock

 **datboi** : then we can go out on a date

 **loverrboy:** no homo tho

 **daddy:** w hat

 **datboi:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **daddy:** >:((((

 **sunnyhoney:** I bet Nyma doesn't like Ezra miller

 **loverrboy:** Nyma doesnt like anyone but rolo

 **loverrboy:** hold up lemme ask her

 

 _(12:46 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_lalalalalala_ **

**loverrboy:** hey so quick question

 **loverrboy:** do you like Ezra miller

 **lalalalalala:** as an actor or physically?

 **loverrboy:** both

 **lalalalalala:** I think he's attractive

 **lalalalalala:** not really my type but I can appreciate beauty

 **lalalalalala:** but I don't like him.mucb as an actor

 **loverrboy:**?????????

 **loverrboy:** h o w ?

 **lalalalalala:** he's not very expressive

 **loverrboy:** your standards are way too high

 

 _(12:50 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _sent 2 images to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**loverrboy:** you were right Shay

 **loverrboy:** nyma is a freak of nature

 **hunkalunk:** nymas a bitch

 **datboi:** did hunk just

 **datboi:** swear?????

 **datboi:** IN MY GOOD CHRISTIAN SERVER????

 **existential.crisis:** I don't know how to feel

 **spacePrincess:** my life is a lie??????

 **loverrboy:** ohhhhh man you guys missed hunks rebel phase

 **loverrboy:** he was savage

 **pidgeotto:** oh shit I forgot about that

 **pidgeotto:** good times

 **hunkalunk:** I can't stand Nyma

 **hunkalunk:** not after she hurt my boo

 **existential.crisis:** Shay?

 **hunkalunk:** haha no

 **hunkalunk:** Lance duh

 **loverrboy:** aw hunk

 **loverrboy:** Nyma apologized

 **hunkalunk:** Lance

 **hunkalunk:** she stole your truck and left you in the middle of nowhere

 **daddy:** wait what?

 **hunkalunk:** sophomore year they dated

 **hunkalunk:** and Nyma basically used him for his car

 **datboi:** thot

 **loverrboy:** she feels bad about it

 **loverrboy:** It doesn't really matter to me

 **daddy:** …

 

 _(1:43 pm)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN_ **

**spacePrincess:** so the girl next to [me.is](http://me.is/) humming the yodeling kid song and I wanna die

 **spacePrincess:** wait why did it link???

 **datboi:** Allura is a commie confirmed

 **pidgeotto:** actually I think that's like polish or something not Russian

 **datboi:** hold up lemme look it up

 **datboi:** according to Google translate it's icelandic

 **spacePrincess:** is Iceland communist???

 **pidgeotto:** you are one dumb bitch

 **daddy:** watch your language

 **pidgeotto:** you're not my dad

 **datboi:** noodlehead

 **existential.crisis:** I hate the yodeling meme

 **existential.crisis:** it's not????? funny????

 **spacePrincess:** ^^^^

 **datboi:** I love it

 **spacePrincess:** stop it

 **pidgeotto:** die imperial scum!!!

 **pidgeotto:** idk why I said that

 **pidgeotto:** Lance is the only other one who plays Skyrim and he's being emo right now

 **daddy:** wait what?

 **pidgeotto:** yeah the nyma incident is a touchy subject so

 **daddy:** oh jeez

 **spacePrincess:** why?

 **pidgeotto:** well he obviously forgave her but like

 **pidgeotto:** he says he feels like an idiot whenever someone brings it up so

 **pidgeotto:** hunk knows better but sometimes he forgets that Lance gets all weird about it

 **spacePrincess:** don't you have this class with Lance?

 **pidgeotto:** yeah me lance and keith all have Latin 2 together

 **pidgeotto:** but he hasn't showed up so :/

 **hunkalunk:** fuck

 

 _(1:50 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy_ **

**hunkalunk:** hey you alright?

 **loverrboy:** yeahh I'm just not feeling class right now

 **loverrboy:** can you tell pidge that

 **hunkalunk:** of course

 **hunkalunk:** I'm sorry for bringing everything up

 **loverrboy:** it's fine

 **loverrboy:** it's just

 **loverrboy:** she's my friend and I don't like it when you talk shit about her

 **loverrboy:** everyone deserves a second chance hunk

 **hunkalunk:** I know

 **hunkalunk:** I just love you dude and I don't want her to hurt you again

 **loverrboy:** I live you too bro

 **loverrboy:** god fucking dammit

 **loverrboy:** love**

 **hunkalunk:** that moment when your best bro lives you

 **loverrboy:** LMAO

 **loverrboy:** thanks hunk

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the army story is based off of a stand-up done by Rhys Darby, coran’s VA, who served in the NZ army. seriously, it's insanely funny.
> 
> in sophomore year I used to go to GSA and the teacher in charge would always say “leave the drama to the thesbians”. at the time I was in drama club and found this incredibly amusing


	3. plot?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shark tank, bullying lance, and actual plot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hello here I am with another shitty chapter bc this is insanely easy to write,,, and everyone commenting is making my day so give me more of those things lmao

_(9:02 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN:_**

 **hunkalunk:** so how were the auditions

 **hunkalunk:** Lance and Allura?

 **spacePrincess:** I feel confident

 **spacePrincess** : I mean it was pretty easy so

 **datboi:** oh shit I forgot that was today

 **datboi:** can I still sign up for backstage?

 **hunkalunk:** yeah I'm getting my form tomorrow so we can do it together

 **pidgeotto:** I got mine today

 **pidgeotto:** time to play deepthroat during intermission >:)))

 **spacePrincess:** I will literally kill you

 **sunnyhoney:** has the play been announced yet?

 **sunnyhoney:** like, what it's going to be

 **spacePrincess:** nah they usually announce it with the cast list

 **spacePrincess:** the only ones who know are the cabinet in drama club

 **spacePrincess:** but Lance won't tell me :((

 **daddy:** Lance is in the cabinet? for drama?

 **spacePrincess:** yeah he's the vice president

 **spacePrincess:** plaxum is the president

 **spacePrincess:** Ezor is the historian

 **spacePrincess:** I think Lotor deals with all of the purchases but don't quote me on that

 **daddy:** why aren't you in the cabinet?

 **spacePrincess:** lazy

 **spacePrincess:** I mean I'm super busy so I don't have the time

 **sunnyhoney:** busy with what?

 **spacePrincess:** well I'm the captain of color guard, president of Hero Club, plus I'm in mock trial

 **spacePrincess:** and of course I'm VP for AP Club

 **spacePrincess:** it's hard being so flawless

 **datboi:** you're such a kiss ass

 **datboi:** “oh look at me I'm so perfect”

 **datboi:** why stress yourself out when you could just kill yourself

 **daddy:** me

 **hunkalunk:** o h

 

 _(10:42 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_daddy:_**

 **loverrboy:** hey

 **loverrboy:** you awake?

 **daddy:** ugh yeah

 **loverrboy:** do you wanna Skype?

 **loverrboy:** and watch Sharknado?

 **daddy:** oh hell yeah

 

 _(5:22 am)_ **_lalalalalala_ ** _to_ **_thot squad:_**

 **lalalalalala:** so ladies

 **lalalalalala:** and Lance

 **lalalalalala:** did you all slay auditions like yours truly?

 **merbitch:** I mean obviously us cabinet members got in

 **merbitch:** and weren't acxa and zethrid just doing crew?

 **merbitch:** so that just leaves you and Allura

 **lalalalalala:** I feel good

 **lalalalalala:** what is the play, anyway?

 **merbitch:** you know I can't tell you

 **lalalalalala:** ugh lame

 **lalalalalala:** is it a musical?

 **bubbles:** yeah

 **merbitch:** Ezor!

 **bubbles:** what? it's not a big deal

 **merbitch:** >:((((

 

 _(7:01 am)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_PRAISE CORAN:_**

 **existential.crisis:**  so like

 **existential.crisis:** I’ve been debating this for awhike

 **existential.crisis:** awhile***

 **existential.crisis:** what shows are better: renovation or cooking?

 **pidgeotto:** obviously reno shows

 **pidgeotto:** by reno you mean like property brothers or fixer upper, right??

 **existential.crisis:** yah

 **pidgeotto:** then most def reno shows man

 **loverrboy:** okay it depends on the show tho

 **loverrboy:** bc property brothers is a definite bop but house hunters is trash

 **pidgeotto:** u rite

 **pidgeotto:** kinda like anything with guy fieri makes me want to blow my brains out but I religiously watch masterchef

 **datboi:** UHM

 **datboi:** did you just insult my FATHER????????

 **loverrboy:** DISGUSTANG

 **datboi:** WHICH ONE A YUS DONT KNOW HOW TO FLUSH AFTER YA TAKE A SHET

 **loverrboy:** i love you meme lord ;’)))))

 **datboi:** i love you too son

 **pidgeotto:** we’re getting off topic

 **loverrboy:** ah yes

 **loverrboy:** we were insulting you for disrespecting guy

 **datboi:** smh my head

 **datboi:** i'm disowning you

 **hunkalunk:** guy is a terrible cook????

 **loverrboy:** oh

 **loverrboy:** bro

 **loverrboy:** thems fighting words

 **existential.crisis:** can we please get back on topic???

 **loverrboy:** sorry keefy

 **loverrboy:** i think i prefer cooking shows just because there are so many chef daddies to praise

 **loverrboy:** despite the scott brothers owning my ass

 **spacePrincess:** ^^^

 **hunkalunk:** i'm obviously a cooking show fan

 **spacePrincess:** i love fixer upper so

 **spacePrincess:** reno it is

 **loverrboy:** chip gaines is sucha cutie

 **spacePrincess:** FACTS

 **sunnyhoney:** i love reno shows

 **loverrboy:** okay but can we talk about the best show ever

 **loverrboy:** shark tank

 **pidgeotto:** FACTS

 **datboi:** u rite

 **daddy:** I actually really like shark tank

 **loverrboy:** who's the best shark go!

 **pidgeotto:** not Kevin

 **pidgeotto:** he's so crusty

 **datboi:** daymond bc he respects wamen

 **loverrboy:** by not saying Lori or Barbara, you don't respect wamen

 **loverrboy:** Barbara is my queen

 **pidgeotto:** okay but Mark

 **spacePrincess:** the go pro guy makes me wanna blow my brains out

 **datboi:** hey that's a cool idea YA KNOW BACK WHEN I MADE GO PRO-

 **datboi:** like shut up crusty ass

 **daddy:** I like mark

 **sunnyhoney:** Lori is my favorite sorry

 **loverrboy:** can't believe no one is backing up my main girl Barbara

 **datboi:** I love Barbara don't worry son

 **loverrboy:** aw thanks pops

 **pidgeotto:** u n c o m f o r t a b l e

 **existential.crisis:** I am so lost

 **existential.crisis:** what is shark tank????

 **pidgeotto:** are you

 **Pidgeotto:** fucking serious

 **loverrboy:** only a degenerate furry from sixth period would say something like that

 **loverrboy:** “what is shark tank”

 **loverrboy:** the best show on television

 **datboi:** smh my head

 **datboi:** classic sixth period response

 **daddy:** you've been disowned Keith

 **existential.crisis:**??????

 **loverrboy:** and for that reason

 **loverrboy:** I'm out

 **pidgeotto:** I wheezed

 **spacePrincess:** hElLo ShArKs

 **datboi:** can I get 90% equity in your company

 **hunkalunk:** classic Mr wonderful

 **hunkalunk:** “I'll give you .2 cents if you give me your first born son”

 **spacePrincess:** HONESTLY

 **daddy:** hey I'm Mark Cuban do you wanna hear about my sports team

 **datboi:** oh look at me I'm Lori greneir listen to me talk about QVC cus that's all I know teehee

 **loverrboy:** the theme song is a bop tho

 **existential.crisis:** help

 

 **_loverrboy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

 **pidgeotto:** god has entered the chat room

 **daddy:** for once I have nothing to bully Lance about

 **daddy:** I full heartedly support this notion

 **datboi:** not all heroes wear capes

 **existential.crisis:** I hate you all

 

 _(8:14 am)_ **_UNKNOWN NUMBER_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **UNKNOWN NUMBER:** Do you like sex? Come in

 **UNKNOWN NUMBER:** <https://meetlove29.win/osmJTD>

 

 _(8:15 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _sent an image to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_**

 **loverrboy:** help I'm scared

 

 _(8:16 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _added_ **_daddy, pidgeotto, hunkalunk, spacePrincess, sunnyhoney,_ ** _and_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_Do you like sex? Come in_ **

 

 **datboi:** let's all just spam him with “Do you like sex? Come in” memes

 **pidgeotto:** hell yes

 **spacePrincess:** *laughs evilly*

 

 _(8:19 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **datboi:** Do you like sex? come in

 **datboi:** [coolmathgames.com](coolmathgames.com)

 **loverrboy:** lmaooo

 

 _(8:20 am)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **pidgeotto:** do you like sex? Come in

 **pidgeotto:** [mojang.com](mojang.com)

 **loverrboy:** lol seriously

 

 _(8:21 am)_ **_daddy_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **daddy:** do you like sex? come in

 **daddy:** [poptropica.com](poptropica.com)

 **loverrboy:** stopppp

 

 _(8:21 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **datboi:** do you like sex? come in

 **loverrboy:** ho don't do it

 **datboi:** <https://www.canada.ca/en.html>

**loverrboy:** oh my god

 

 _(8:23 am)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **spacePrincess:** do you like sex? come in

 **spacePrincess:** <https://vine.co>

**loverrboy:** I STG

 

 _(8:23 am)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **hunkalunk:** do you like sex? come in

 **hunkalunk:** <http://www.course-notes.org/us_history/notes/the_american_pageant_11th_edition_textbook_notes>

**loverrboy:** ARE YOU FUCKING

 **loverrboy:** SERIOUS

 

 _(8:24 am)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **existential.crisis:** do you like sex? come in

 **existential.crisis:** <http://me.is/>

**loverrboy:** why are you doing this

 

 _(8:24 am)_ **_sunnyhoney_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **sunnyhoney:** do you like sex? come in

 **sunnyhoney:** <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y82jDHRrswc>

**loverrboy:** NOT YOU TOO SHAY

 

 _(8:24 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_**

 **loverrboy:** it's too early for this shit guys

 **loverrboy:** WHEN WILL YOU LEARN

 **loverrboy:** THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES

 **pidgeotto:** ha gotteem

 **loverrboy:** I hate you all

 

 _(9:22 am)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_SENPAI:_**

 **spacePrincess:** so I forgot this chat was a thing hello frens

 **datboi:** ah yes

 **datboi:** the senior group chat

 **daddy:** why do we have twenty different chats is the real question

 **spacePrincess:** TBH

 **daddy:** wait did we have homework for psychology

 **datboi:** just vocab I think but that's due on Friday,,

 **daddy:** matt

 **daddy:** today is Friday

 **datboi:** MOTHER FUCK

 **daddy:** brb I gotta do that before fifth period

 **spacePrincess:** you could just, I dunno, do it on time and not stress yourself out ya know

 **daddy:** where's the fun in that lol

 **daddy:** I like to do the vocab on thursdays

 **spacePrincess:** dumbasses

 **daddy:** you're not wrong

 **spacePrincess:** so Shiro

 **spacePrincess:** it's been awhile since we've been able to talk

 **spacePrincess:** mono e mono

 **daddy:** I'm scared

 **spacePrincess:** how's that crush on Lance going

 **daddy:** w hat

 **daddy:** I don't

 **daddy:** hahah no crushes here

 **daddy:** I most certainly do not have any romantic feelings towards Lance no sir

 **spacePrincess:** you're so full of shit it's coming out of your mouth

 **spacePrincess:** you can't lie to me Shiro I know everything

 **spacePrincess:** EVERYTHING

 **daddy:** jsknankdns

 **daddy:** I might

 **daddy:** maybe

 **daddy:** have some feelings

 **datboi:** fucking called it

 **daddy:** SHUT UP HOLT I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU

 **spacePrincess:** so you told Matt but not me??????

 **spacePrincess:** I'm hurt

 **daddy:** ahhhhhhhhh

 **daddy:** I'm being attacked

 **datboi:** ha I laugh at your misery

 **daddy:** go do your homework matt

 **spacePrincess:** the plot thickens…

 **daddy:** I don't like the sound of that

 **daddy:** AND HOLD ON

 **daddy:** I'm not the only one here with a crush ALLURA

 **daddy:** your feelings for Lotor are as transparent as cellophane girl

 **spacePrincess:** HHH

 **spacePrincess:** maybe so

**daddy:**

you can hide nothing from my superior dad eyes

 **spacePrincess:** that's not a thing and you know it

 **daddy:** says you

 **datboi:** y'all are hopeless you should just follow my lead and be single for eternity

 **daddy:** you're not innocent either holt

 **daddy:** I know you like nyma

 **datboi:** whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat

 **spacePrincess:** :o

 **spacePrincess:** THE PLOT THICKENS

 **datboi:** you know I can't make a move on her tho

 **datboi:** the rest of you have shots at your boos

 **daddy:** what

 **daddy:** I don't have a shot wtf

 **spacePrincess:** OHMYGOD

 **spacePrincess:** wait mattwhy wouldn't you have a chance?

 **datboi:** uhh the whole Lance drama

 **datboi:** I refuse to break the bro code

 **daddy:** I'm sure Lance wouldn't mind if she made you happy

 **datboi:** obviously he wouldn't mind because he's literally the most selfless person on this planet

 **datboi** : BUT STILL

 **datboi:** Lance and I are brothers in memes

 **datboi:** I would never do something like that

 **spacePrincess:** honorable but stupid

 **datboi:** can that be on my tombstone????

**_daddy_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_the crush corner™_ **

**datboi:** rip in pieces my dignity and self worth

 **daddy:** mood

_(10:56 am)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**existential.crisis:** yo Pidge

 **existential.crisis:** is it alright if I bring attack of the killer tomatoes tonight??

 **pidgeotto:** if you don't I'll kill you

 **loverrboy:** what are you guys doing tonight?

 **pidgeotto:** scary movie night at my place

 **loverrboy:** ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh funn

 **loverrboy:** I'm hurt I wasn't invited

 **existential.crisis:** lance you hate scary movies

 **existential.crisis** : we once watched Chucky together and you started crying

 **loverrboy:** THERE WAS DUST IN MY EYE KEEF

 **existential.crisis:** I cradled you in my arms

 **loverrboy:** nope don't remember didn't happen

 **existential.crisis:** we made out like immediately after lance

 **loverrboy:** oh yeahhhhhhhh

 **loverrboy:** that was fun

 **pidgeotto:** didn't we agree to never bring up klance ever again

 **pidgeotto:** I distinctly remember us agreeing to forget about your relationship

 **loverrboy:** Pidge it was like a month during freshman year

 **loverrboy:** you weren't even THERE

 **loverrboy:** why does it matter????

 **pidgeotto:** cuz y'all are gross

 **hunkalunk:** Lance don't try to down play it

 **hunkalunk:** you thought you were in love

 **loverrboy:** HUNK

 **existential.crisis:** wait for real???

 **loverrboy:** I mean you were my first boyfriend

 **loverrboy:** so kinda idk

 **spacePrincess:** I FORGOT YOU GUYS DATED

 **datboi:** I think everyone forgot about it tbh

 **loverrboy:** our love has been forgotten keith

 **existential.crisis:** I almost forgot too tbh

 **loverrboy:** AW CMON

 **loverrboy:** I HATE YOU OMG

 **loverrboy:** hunk I propose we throw a movie night to protest

 **hunkalunk:** can't this weekend sorry

 **hunkalunk:** I'm babysitting

 **loverrboy:** Allura?

 **spacePrincess:** I've got a dance competition

 **loverrboy:** SHAY?

 **loverrboy:** wait she's in class nvm

 **loverrboy:** MATT MY MEME BRO PLZ

 **datboi:** sorry I was planning on crashing keith and Pidge's thing

 **loverrboy:** fuCK

 **loverrboy:** Shiro you're my only hope

 **daddy:** relax princess Leia

 **daddy:** I'm free

 **daddy:** and my parents are in Japan so I have the place to myself for the week

 **loverrboy:** HELL YEAH

 **loverrboy:** I'm thinkin rom com marathon

 **loverrboy:** pretty woman, princess diaries, my best friends wedding, and legally blonde baby

 **daddy:** Julia Roberts marathon more like lol

_(11:05 am)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_operation shance:_ **

**pidgeotto:** are you fucking kidding me

 **hunkalunk:** it's definitely for “protest”

 **hunkalunk:** definitely not a date

 **spacePrincess:** can I hit them both?

 **spacePrincess:** this is getting painful

_(11:45 am)_ **_sunnyhoney_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**sunnyhoney:** aw I missed all of the excitement

 **datboi:** rip in pieces

 **sunnyhoney:** matt that doesn't make any sense

 **sunnyhoney:** rip stands for rest in peace

 **sunnyhoney:** so you're just saying “rest in peace in pieces”

 **datboi:** it's a meme Shay

 **sunnyhoney:** ohh

 **sunnyhoney:** I'm not very good at memes sorry

 **loverrboy:** Shay you're too pure

 **loverrboy:** will you marry me

 **sunnyhoney:** I thought you and hunk were getting married

 **loverrboy:** we can be poly

 **sunnyhoney:** I don't think hunk likes boys sorry

 **loverrboy:** why does everyone WANT TO HURT ME TODAY

 **loverrboy:** :(

 **hunkalunk:** joking or not?

 **loverrboy:** pm me

_(12:00 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_ **

**hunkalunk:** who hurt you

 **loverrboy:** omg no one

 **loverrboy:** I'm just over thinking you know how I get sometimes

 **hunkalunk:** does this have anything to do with what Keith said earlier about forgetting you two

 **loverrboy:** kinda

 **loverrboy:** I just

 **loverrboy:** I always thought we had something special and talking about it felt weird idk

 **loverrboy:** did I ever tell you that we hooked up like a year after we broke up

 **hunkalunk:** WHAT

 **loverrboy:** lol yeah I still had feelings and shit

 **loverrboy:** and he just asked me if I was still into him

 **loverrboy:** and I told him that I kinda did

 **loverrboy:** he said that he kinda did too but that we sucked as a couple

 **loverrboy:** and that he was definitely attracted to me physically but not really emotionally

 **loverrboy:** so we decided to be friends with benefits??? kinda

 **loverrboy:** idk how to explain it but yeah

 **hunkalunk:** what happened after that?

 **loverrboy:** we kept seeing each other in secret

 **loverrboy:** but one day he called it off randomly

 **loverrboy:** he wouldn't tell me why so

 **hunkalunk:** did you ask why?

 **loverrboy:** no that would be embarrassing dude

 **hunkalunk:** I think you should

 **hunkalunk:** for closure

 **hunkalunk:** do you still have feelings for him?

 **loverrboy:** no no I realized that we didn't work well together romantically

 **loverrboy:** plus I fell for Shiro

 **loverrboy:** there wasn't enough room for two in my heart? I guess?? idk

 **hunkalunk:** you should ask him why he broke things off

 **hunkalunk:** promise me you will?

 **loverrboy:** hunk

 **hunkalunk:** c'mon

 **loverrboy:** I don't think I can

 **hunkalunk:** I'll make you cupcakes

 **hunkalunk:** red velvet even

 **loverrboy:** fineee

 **loverrboy:** damn you and your cupcakes

 **hunkalunk:** >:)))

 **loverrboy:** I'll text him after next period

 **loverrboy:** I kinda don't want to see him in person afterwards

 **hunkalunk:** thank you

_(1:15 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**existential.crisis:** have I mentioned how much I loathe Sendak

 **existential.crisis:** I can't believe he's building a stage in the middle of class

 **existential.crisis:** and he just assigned us like twenty pages out of the springboard

 **datboi:** Jesus he got worse

 **datboi:** is he playing thrift shop?

 **existential.crisis:** worse

 **existential.crisis:** he's playing Nickelback

 **pidgeotto:** DEAR GOD

 **spacePrincess:** is he trying to kill you?????

 **existential.crisis:** it's a new form of torture or something

 **daddy:** you poor soul

 **datboi:** while you are stuck with Sendak

 **datboi:** Shiro allura and I are chillin with Ulaz

 **existential.crisis:** you lucky motherfucker

 **existential.crisis:** tell him I said hi

 **daddy:** he says he misses your face

 **daddy:** and that he'll see you on Sunday

 **datboi:** what does that even mean????

 **existential.crisis:** well Ulaz is pretty close friends with my mom

 **existential.crisis:** which you already knew

 **existential.crisis:** he's throwing a BBQ on Sunday for his daughter’s birthday

 **daddy:** and he didn't invite ME?

 **spacePrincess:** Shiro just asked Ulaz why he didn't get invited lmaoooo

 **datboi:** what a loser

 **daddy:** I am now invited

 **daddy:** I'll see you Sunday, Keith

 **existential.crisis:** why are you like this?

_(2:52 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_existen_** ** _tial.crisis_ **

**loverrboy:** hey Keith

 **existential.crisis:** oh god

 **existential.crisis:** you used my name instead of “keef” or “mullet” or “furry"

 **existential.crisis:** this is serious isn't it

 **loverrboy:** not,,,,

 **loverrboy:** necessarily

 **existential.crisis:** I'm scared

 **loverrboy:** omg you're overreacting

 **loverrboy:** I just have a question

 **existential.crisis:** did you finally kill someone

 **existential.crisis:** do you need me to help you hide the body

 **existential.crisis:** because you know I can

 **loverrboy:** wtf no

 **loverrboy:** why is that your first reaction?????

 **loverrboy:** I just wanted to ask you why you broke up with me

 **loverrboy:** the second time

 **existential.crisis:** oh

 **existential.crisis:** um

 **existential.crisis:** I just didn't think we would work out

 **loverrboy:** I don't believe you

 **loverrboy:** I have a feeling that there's more to it than that

 **existential.crisis:** why are you even bringing this up

 **existential.crisis:** I thought we were fine

 **loverrboy:** we are fine I just wanna know

 **existential.crisis:** I can't tell you

 **loverrboy:** WHY NOT

 **existential.crisis:** it's not my story to tell lance

 **loverrboy:** I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW KEITH

 **loverrboy:** if it got between the two of us I deserve to know why

 **existential.crisis:** listen

 **existential.crisis:** I can't tell you why

 **existential.crisis:** but Shiro can

 **existential.crisis:** ask him later tonight

 **loverrboy:** Shiro??????

 **existential.crisis:** that's all I can say Lance

 **loverrboy:** I'm so lost

 **loverrboy:** but fine

 **loverrboy:** I'll ask him tonight

 **existential.crisis:** for what it's worth

 **existential.crisis:** I'm sorry

 **loverrboy:** for?

 **existential.crisis:** breaking things off

 **existential.crisis:** I didn't really want to

 **existential.crisis:** we had something special and it's my fault we lost it

 **loverrboy:** Keith

 **loverrboy:** you were right the first time around

 **loverrboy:** we were too used to being friends to really be anything more

 **existential.crisis:** I broke your heart

 **loverrboy:** you did

 **loverrboy:** but it wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last

 **loverrboy:** even though you won't tell me why, I'm sure you had your reasons and I respect that

 **loverrboy:** because you're my friend

 **existential.crisis:** Lance

 **existential.crisis:** I love you

 **loverrboy:** I love you too mullet

 **existential.crisis:** have fun with Shiro tonight

 **loverrboy:** believe me, I will ;)))

 **loverrboy:** have fun with Pidge and your hellish horror movies

 **existential.crisis:** lmao you're ridiculous

 ****loverrboy:** ** this is surprising to literally no one keef

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haaaaaa my ass projected on Lance so hard this chapter sorry bud,,,,  
> the shark tank discussion is 100% accurate me and my friends love it  
> also im a slut for past klance dont @ me
> 
> shiro drama and maybe official shance next chapter,, idk i might draw this out, might not, who knows? cause i sure as hell don't lmaoo


	4. missing boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cypkids and shance both have their movie nights, but no one can get ahold of shiro or lance???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is really short but,,, ya know,,,,, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_(3:02 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_daddy:_ **

**loverrboy:** hey so can you pick me up?

 **loverrboy:** my sister has my car

 **daddy:** oh yeah no problem

 **daddy:** you still live by the dollar tree right?

 **loverrboy:** yuppp

 **daddy:** k I'll be there in ten

 **loverrboy:** see you soon

 

 _(3:03 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_hunkalunk:_ **

**loverrboy:** HELP 911

 **hunkalunk:** whats wrong bro

 **loverrboy:** I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO WEAR TO SHIROS

 **loverrboy:** ITS A SLEEPOVER SO I CAN'T BE TOO SEXY BUT I DONT WANT TO LOOK LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES

 **hunkalunk:** bro you know I suck at clothes shit

 **hunkalunk:** ask Allura

 **loverrboy:** you right

 **loverrboy:** brb

 

 _(3:09 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_spacePrincess:_ **  

 **loverrboy:** 911

 **loverrboy:** WHAT DO I WEAR TO SHIROS

 **spacePrincess:** hmmmm

 **spacePrincess:** your old cure shirt for sure

 **loverrboy:** the one with all the holes in it?

 **spacePrincess:** definitely

 **loverrboy:** okay got it what else?

 **spacePrincess:** are you shaved? leg wise?

 **loverrboy:** yupyup

 **spacePrincess:** then wear the blue shorts

 **loverrboy:** Allura those ones say “bite me” on the ass

 **loverrboy:** I would never dream of leaving the house in them

 **spacePrincess:** do you trust me or not?

 **loverrboy:** ofc I trust you

 **spacePrincess:** then wear the damn shorts

 **loverrboy:** fineee

 **loverrboy:** thanks lura <3

 

 _(3:20 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**hunkalunk:** why does it feel like everyone has plans this weekend?

 **sunnyhoney:** well half of our group is busy right now

 **hunkalunk:** we're lame huh

 **sunnyhoney:** lol kinda

 **datboi:** o shit Shay is on fire today

 **sunnyhoney:** matttt

 **sunnyhoney:** it was a joke

 **datboi:** Shay? making jokes? it's more likely than you'd think

 **hunkalunk:** weren't you gonna watch movies with the crypkids?

 **datboi:** they kicked me out

 **datboi:** pidge blackmailed me so ://

 **hunkalunk:** LOL

 **sunnyhoney:** oh?

 **spacePrincess:** I heard blackmail I'm in

 **datboi:** classic Allura

 **datboi:** you're such a gossip sometimes

 **spacePrincess:** maybe so but it pays off

 **spacePrincess:** I have dirt on everyone in this chat

 **hunkalunk:** even Shay?

 **spacePrincess:** EVERYONE

 **hunkalunk:** o h

 

 _(3:25 pm)_ **_daddy_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_ **

**daddy:** I'm here

 **daddy:** sorry I'm so late I kinda got lost lol

 **loverrboy:** it's fine I'll be out in a sec

 

 _(3:25 pm)_ **_daddy_ ** _to_ **_datboi:_ **

**daddy:** help

 **daddy:** his shorts say bite me

 **datboi:**????

 **daddy:** how do stop gay crisis

 **datboi:** LMAO

 **daddy:** gtg I'll text you when he does something cute

 **datboi:** so every two seconds?

 **daddy:** shut it holt

 

 _(4:00 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _sent a video to_ **_shark tank fanclub_ **

**spacePrincess:** you guys are weird

 **spacePrincess:** why is Pidge screaming at the bird?

 **existential.crisis:** chrsi id that a weeed

 **spacePrincess:** oh nevermind you're high

 **existential.crisis:** hnnnnnnnnn cronchie boi

 _(6:21 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _sent a video to_ **_shark tank fanclub_ **

**hunkalunk:** is that

 **hunkalunk:** Keith

 **hunkalunk:** hanging from the ceiling fan?

 **pidgeotto:** GURL LEMME GIVE U A KISS

 **pidgeotto:** OOPSS I FELL ON MA BOOTIE

 **hunkalunk:** I have no questions

 

 _(7:49 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_operation shance:_ **

**hunkalunk:** so Lance hasn't texted me about any gay crisis

 **hunkalunk:** that either means he's too busy being gay with Shiro or that he's been killed and skinned

 **sunnyhoney:**??

 **hunkalunk:** I maybe watched CSI again

 **sunnyhoney:** hunk we talked about this

 **sunnyhoney:** no CSI after five o'clock

 **hunkalunk:** I'm weak

 

 _(12:15 am)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_hunkalunk:_ **

**loverrboy:** I'm in love and it's beautiful

 

 _(2:34 am)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

  **pidgeotto:** is anyone awake

 **pidgeotto:** bc Keith crashed on me so I'm bored

 **pidgeotto:** no?

 **pidgeotto:** ugh y'all are lame asses smh

 

 _(7:22 am)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_ **

**hunkalunk:** hey uh what does this mean

 **hunkalunk:** did something happen????

 

 _(8:15 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_the crush corner™:_ **

**datboi:** so Shiro

 **datboi:** how did your date with Lance go?? ;))

 

 _(8:52 am)_ **_datboi_ ** _to_ **_the crush corner™:_**  

 **datboi:** are you still sleeping?

 **spacePrincess:** he might be idk

 

 _(9:40 am)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_operation shance:_ **  

 **hunkalunk:** so Lance hasn't texted me since like midnight

 **hunkalunk:** where all he said was that he was in love????

 **hunkalunk:** and now he's gone AWOL

 **datboi:** same with Shiro

 **spacePrincess:** I wonder what happened??

 

 _(12:56 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **  

 **pidgeotto:** I rise from the dead

 **sunnyhoney:** did you just wake up?

 **pidgeotto:** yepp

 **sunnyhoney:** jeez how late did you stay up?

 **pidgeotto:** I fell asleep at 6 maybe??

 **pidgeotto:** slept for a few hours

 **pidgeotto:** and here I am

 **datboi:** is Keith up too?

 **datboi:** I hear voices but that could be mom

 **pidgeotto:** nah keith woke up like an hour ago

 **pidgeotto:** he's been playing Minecraft

 **datboi:** are you fucking

 **datboi:** he better not be using my account

 **existential.crisis:** I am

 **datboi:** GOD DAMMIT KOGANE

 **hunkalunk:** have any of you heard from either Shiro or Lance?

 **hunkalunk:** I haven't been able to get ahold of them

 **datboi:** still?

 **datboi:** Jesus

 **pidgeotto:** they're both dead watch

 **sunnyhoney:** Katie!

 **pidgeotto:** hey it could happen you never know

 **spacePrincess:** or they're just, I dunno, sleeping??????

 **hunkalunk:** that could very well be true

 **hunkalunk:** Lance loves to sleep in

 **existential.crisis:** and he's a super heavy sleeper

 **hunkalunk:** how do you know that???

 **existential.crisis:** uh

 **existential.crisis:** I'm going back to Minecraft

 **hunkalunk:**????

 

 _(1:30 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_daddy:_ **

**existential.crisis:** hey man

 **existential.crisis:** how did things go with Lance?

 **daddy:** oh hey Keith!!!!

 **daddy:** we had fun

 **existential.crisis:** did you two talk things out?

 **daddy:** wym

 **existential.crisis:** did he ask you about the breakup

 **daddy:** oh yeah we cleared that all up

 **existential.crisis:** W HAT

 **existential.crisis:** what happened???

 **daddy:** hey Keith I gotta go

 **daddy:** I'll see you tomorrow

 **existential.crisis:**??????

 

 _(1:33 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _to_ **_operation shance:_**  

 **existential.crisis:** so

 **existential.crisis:** Lance asked me why we broke up on Friday

 **existential.crisis:** and I told him to ask Shiro

 **hunkalunk:** wait why Shiro?

 **existential.crisis:** I broke up with him bc I knew about Shiro's feelings

 **existential.crisis:** and felt bad

 **hunkalunk:**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **pidgeotto:** OHMYGOD ARE YOU SERIOUS

 **existential.crisis:** yeah so

 **existential.crisis:** this just happened

 

 _(1:35 pm)_ **_existential.crisis_ ** _sent an image to_ **_operation shance_ **

**existential.crisis:** and I'm concerned

 **hunkalunk:** I wonder what's going on…

 **pidgeotto:** this is wild

 **datboi:** THE PLOT THICKENS

 **hunkalunk:** should I try texting Lance again?

 **sunnyhoney:** honestly?

 **sunnyhoney:** I think we should leave them alone

 **sunnyhoney:** it seems like they're avoiding us for a reason and we should let them work things through on their own

 **pidgeotto:** Shay you have the best advice

 **pidgeotto:** you're the coolest tbh

 **spacePrincess:** facts

 **hunkalunk:** and she's all MINE bitches!!!

 **sunnyhoney:** awh hunky <3

 **hunkalunk:** I love you honey

 **pidgeotto:** oh gross

 **existential.crisis:** yucky ass heteros rubbing your weird hetero stuff everywhere

 **sunnyhoney:** you're just jealous mullet

 **spacePrincess:** :o

 **pidgeotto:** what just happened

 **datboi:** omg

 **existential.crisis:** you need to stop hanging around Lance

 **existential.crisis:** he's a bad influence

 **hunkalunk:** my girlfriend kicks ass <3

 **sunnyhoney:** <3

 

 _(6:53 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_hunkalunk:_ **

**loverrboy:** hey so

 **loverrboy:** don't tell the others

 **loverrboy:** (I'm not even supposed to tell you but I just got home and I'm freaking the fuck out!!)

 **loverrboy:** but Shiro and I had sex

 **hunkalunk:** WHAT

 **hunkalunk:** HOW

 **hunkalunk:** I DONT

 **hunkalunk:** AHHHH

 **loverrboy:** I KNOW

 **loverrboy:** IM GOING NUTS

 **hunkalunk:** I NEED DETAILS

 **hunkalunk:** not sex details bc ew

 **hunkalunk:** BUT LIKE

 **hunkalunk:** HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

 **loverrboy:** OKAY so on Friday I asked Keith why he broke up with me

 **loverrboy:** and he said this 

 _(6:55 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _sent an image to_ **_hunkalunk_ **

_(6:55 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _sent an image to_ **_hunkalunk_ **

**loverrboy:** so after spending a few hours just watching movies together and lowkey snuggling

 **loverrboy:** (it was great btw)

 **loverrboy:** I just kinda blurted it out??

 **loverrboy:** and at first he didn't want to answer but I kept pestering him

 **loverrboy:** and apparently Keith broke up with me bc he found out about Shiro having feelings for me

 **loverrboy:** FOR ME!!!

 **loverrboy:** and he was kinda freaking out so I just

 **loverrboy:** kissed him!

 **hunkalunk:** AHHH

 **loverrboy:** I KNOW

 **loverrboy:** anyway so we talked

 **loverrboy:** and he asked me out

 **loverrboy:** so we're dating now!!!!!

 **hunkalunk:** IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

 **hunkalunk:** wait how did you guys end up having sex?

 **loverrboy:** ohhhhh mann

 **loverrboy:** so we fell asleep cuddling and shit

 **loverrboy:** and he woke up with a boner

 **loverrboy:** it was totally digging into my back and AHHH

 **loverrboy:** so I made a joke about it and things kinda escalated

 **loverrboy:** IM SO HAPPY RN

 **loverrboy:** but you have to PROMISE to not say anything

 **hunkalunk:** for how long??????

 **loverrboy:** we're telling everyone on Monday

 **hunkalunk:** FINE

 **hunkalunk:** I can't believe this happened tbh we've been dealing with the pining for over a year

 **hunkalunk:** like!!

 **hunkalunk:** you've both been so obvious

 **loverrboy:** really??

 **hunkalunk:** yeah we made a group chat to talk about how hopeless you are and everything

 **loverrboy:** HUNK

 **hunkalunk:** lmao we had no choice

 **hunkalunk:** it was getting pretty bad dude

 **loverrboy:** ugh

 **loverrboy:** I'm gonna go take a shower

 **hunkalunk:** oh okay have fun :))

 

 _(7:12 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _to_ **_operation shance:_ **

**hunkalunk:** Lance texted me

 **hunkalunk:** they're both alive and well

 **pidgeotto:** oh good

 **pidgeotto:** any news?

 **hunkalunk:** can't say

 **pidgeotto:** huuuuuuunk

 **pidgeotto:** pleeeeeeaaaaaaseee

 **hunkalunk:** nope sorry bro code

 **pidgeotto:** dammit

 

(8:01 pm) **daddy** to **loverrboy:**  

 **daddy:** miss you

 **loverrboy:** AHHH

 **loverrboy:** I miss you more

 **daddy:** not possible

 **loverrboy:** SMOOTH

 **daddy:** too much?

 **loverrboy:** hell no please never stop

 **loverrboy:** <3

 **daddy:** <3

 **daddy:** wanna watch princess bride?

 **loverrboy:** YES

 _(8:06 pm) incoming phone call from_ **_loverrboy_ **

_(11:49 pm) call ended._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keith and pidge were me and my best friend like a week ago lmao,,  
> also I might write the shance sleepover and stuff irl style and post it separately idk im debating on whether anyone would want to read it,,,,, though even if yall dont wanna read it I'll probs write it anyway lol,, plus I REALLY wanna write the smut so we'll see...


	5. The Big Reveal™

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shance is official and the cast for the play is revealed!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh sorry this is late I suck and lost inspiration oops BUT I did start writing the shance sleepover, I'll put in a lil sneak peek in the endnotes :)))))) idk when it'll be done because I really suck lmao  
> also credit to mysticmajestic for the "Everyone knows that your best friend isn’t part of don’t tell anyone else." line bc it made me laugh so I put it in the fic
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY~

_(12:01 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_daddy:_**

 **loverrboy:** how's dally?

 **daddy:** he misses you

 **daddy:** we brought him to Ulaz’s barbeque so he's having fun

 **loverrboy:** AW

 **loverrboy:** PICS OR IT DIDNT HAPPEN

 _(12:05 pm)_ **_daddy_ ** _sent a video to_ **_loverrboy_**

 **loverrboy:** I LOVE THE PUPPER

 **loverrboy:** tell him I said hi

 **loverrboy:** and that I love him

 **loverrboy:** and that he is best boy

 **daddy:** can do

 **daddy:** and what do you have to say to me, huh?

 **loverrboy:** oh nothing much

 **loverrboy:** just that you're the light of my life

 **daddy:** FUKC

 **daddy:** you're good

 **loverrboy:** you're better

 **daddy:** lanceee

 **daddy:** why are you so perfect

 **loverrboy:** genetics baby

 **loverrboy:** my Abuela is one sexy granny

 **daddy:** o h

 **loverrboy:** lmao how's keith doing

 **daddy:** he hates life

 **daddy:** you know how he gets in sunlight

 **daddy:** and at social functions

 **loverrboy:** lmao what a dweeb

 **loverrboy:** did he ask you what happened

 **daddy:** actually no

 **daddy:** I think Shay talked to him or something

 **loverrboy:** lol Shay is the only one who could talk Keith down probably

 **daddy:** you could

 **daddy:** I mean I've seen you anyway

 **loverrboy:** I mean

 **loverrboy:** so have you

 **daddy:** okay so we both can talk him down

 **loverrboy:** lol the keith tamer squad

 **daddy:** LOL

 **daddy:** brb I need to stop dally from eating the guac

 **loverrboy:** NOT THE GUAC

 **loverrboy:** text me later <3

 

 _(1:30 pm)_ **_hunkalunk_ ** _sent a video to_ **_shark tank fanclub_**

 **hunkalunk:** these kids are crazy

 **loverrboy:** those are Mia’s kids right?

 **loverrboy:** Sammy and Jess?

 **hunkalunk:** yeahh

 **hunkalunk:** they're on crack or something

 **hunkalunk:** I just found Sammy on top of the turtle tank???

 **datboi:** THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!

 **loverrboy:** LMAO

 **loverrboy:** do you need me to come over and help?

 **hunkalunk:** yes

 **hunkalunk:** please I beg you

 **loverrboy:** lol I'll be there in ten

 **hunkalunk:** love you bro

 

 _(2:46 pm)_ **_daddy_ ** _to_ **_loverrboy:_**

 **daddy:** help

 **daddy:** food coma

 **loverrboy:** omg

 **loverrboy:** how much did you eat?

 **daddy:** too much

 **loverrboy:** awwwww

 **loverrboy:** dumbass shouldn't have eaten so much

 **daddy:** don't judge me you're supposed to have my back

 **loverrboy:** not when you're being a dumbass

 **daddy:** :(

 **loverrboy:** love you tho

 **daddy:** :)

 

 _(4:02 pm)_ **_loverrboy_ ** _to_ **_daddy:_**

 **loverrboy:**  my sister is driving me nuts

 **daddy:** what is she doing?

 **loverrboy:** shes blaring twenty one pilots nightcore

 **loverrboy:** k i l l m e

 **daddy:** dear god im sorry

 **loverrboy:** we are in the timeline god has abandoned

 **loverrboy:** ive heard heathens at least thirty times

 **loverrboy:** WHY

 **daddy:** movie?

 **loverrboy:** god yes

 **loverrboy:** what are you feeling today?

 **daddy:** hmmm bee movie

 **loverrboy:** an intellectual

 

 _(4:10 pm) incoming call from_ **_loverrboy_**

_(5:54 pm) call ended_

 

 _(8:30 am)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_**

 **pidgeotto:** ARE YOU FUCKIN

 **pidgeotto:** THIS WHOLE WEEKEND

 **spacePrincess:** ALL THIS TIME AND YOUVE BOTH BEEN

 **datboi:** AHAHHAHAH I KNEW IT

 **sunnyhoney:** im happy for you two <3

 **loverrboy:** thanks shay <333

 **spacePrincess:** so hunk has been oddly silent in the wake of this reveal…

 **pidgeotto:** DONT TELL ME YOU ALREADY KNEW

 **daddy:**??

 **daddy:** he shouldnt know

 **daddy:** unless..

 **daddy:** LANCE

 **loverrboy:** oops

 **loverrboy:** everyone knows when you say “don’t tell anyone” your best friend is excluded

 **loverrboy:** duhhhh

 **hunkalunk:** sorry guys I couldnt say anything

 **daddy:** GOD DAMMIT LANCE >:((

 **loverrboy:** hunk knows everything about me sorry

 **loverrboy:** i physically can’t resist telling him new news

 **spacePrincess:** I’m still in shock

 **pidgeotto:** ^^^^^

 **datboi** : I love the way you told everyone

 **datboi:** just,, showing up in shiro’s car, holding hands, and then making out the moment you step on campus

 **datboi:** RIGHT IN FRONT OF GRANDMA

 **existential.crisis:** who’s grandma??

 **pidgeotto:** you are the worst junior I’ve ever seen

 **pidgeotto:** im a sophomore and I know who grandma is

 **loverrboy:** It’s the one security guard who always dress codes people

 **loverrboy:** the reallyyy old one

 **existential.crisis:** o h

 **spacePrincess:** anyway you guys are probably the gossip of the school rn so congrats

 **loverrboy:** finally my time to shine

 **loverrboy:** ALSO THE CAST FOR THE PLAY IS REVEALED TODAY!!!

 **spacePrincess:** IM SO NERVOUS AHH

 **loverrboy:** don’t be you got in

 **spacePrincess:**???????????????????????

 **loverrboy:** I mean

 **loverrboy:** f uk

 **datboi:** lmao lance you suckkkk

 **loverrboy:** shut your quiznak holt

 **pidgeotto:** wtf is a quiznak????

 **hunkalunk:** coran says quiznak instead of fuck

 **pidgeotto:** ahhh

 **Pidgeotto:** what a god

 **loverrboy:** HONESTLY

 

 _(10:42 am)_ **_sunnyhoney_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_**

 **sunnyhoney:** coran winked at me

 **pidgeotto:** #blessed

 **loverrboy:** im trying to get on that level

 **loverrboy:** @ coran love me

 **hunkalunk:** IF THATS WHAT YOU WANNA DO

 **loverrboy:** excellent reference, 20/10

 **hunkalunk:** thank you

 **hunkalunk:** I’d like to thank my parents, and my beautiful girlfriend shay

 **hunkalunk:** and of course my side ho Lance

 **loverrboy:** they grow up so fast :’))

 **daddy:** u hm

 **daddy:**????

 **loverrboy:** shhh babe let it happen

 **loverrboy:** AHHH I CAN SAY THAT NOW

 **loverrboy:** boy do i love HAVING SOMEONE TO RESPECT

 **pidgeotto:** bitch you’ve always had someone to respect

 **pidgeotto:** @coran

 **loverrboy:** shit u rite nvm

 

 _(11:02 am)_ **_merbitch_ ** _to_ **_thot squad:_**

 **merbitch:** y'all ready for cast announcements at lunch

 **lalalalalala:** im quaking in my uggs

 **loverrboy:** first of all

 **loverrboy:** literally delete yourself

 **bubbles:** im gonna ignore the uggs comment bc ew

 **bubbles:** but like,,,, yeah im excited

 **buttercup:** @nyma,,,, this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you!!

 **lalalalala:** damn yall didn’t like the ugg joke smh chill

 **lalalalala:** I hope I got a good role though

 **loverrboy:** you did don’t worry

 **bubbles:** LANCE STOP SPOILING IT

 **loverrboy:** she’s gonna find out in like,,, twenty minutes

 **loverrboy:** it doesn’t matter

 **merbitch:** OK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LANCE’S NEW RELATIONSHIP

 **spacePrincess:** dare I say,,,,,,,, iconic

 **merbitch:** HONESTLY

 **merbitch:** im so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!!

 **loverrboy:** AHH THANKS BOO

 **merbitch:** like you two are the new IT couple tbh

 **loverrboy:** ahhh that’s my goal honestly

 **loverrboy:** I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT

 **bubbles:** okay but me and acxa did it first,,

 **merbitch:**???

 **bubbles:** we are the OG lgbt couple

 **bubbles:** plus we’re lesbians

 **bubbles:** get on our level

 **loverrboy:** damn I can never top lesbians :’(((

 **lalalalala:** I hate you all

 

 _(12:34 pm)_ **_spacePrincess_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_**

 **spacePrincess:** LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

 **spacePrincess:** REALLY????

 **loverrboy:** ;)))))

 **spacePrincess:** so I’m one of the girls???

 **spacePrincess:** Crystal, right?

 **loverrboy:** yupyupyup

 **daddy:** I haven’t seen little shop of horrors in ages

 **loverrboy:** we can watch it tonight in honor of the cast list reveal

 **daddy:**!!!

 **datboi:** AAHHH

 **datboi:** I AUDITIONED LATE

 **datboi:** AND I STILL GOT THE LEAD????

 **loverrboy:** you really impressed luxia

 **datboi:** YEAH BUT NOW IM FREAKING OUT HOW TF AM I GONNA DO THIS

 **pidgeotto:** my brother is gonna be famous yall

 **daddy:** and you get to kiss nyma since she’s audrey

 **datboi:** OH FUCK

 **datboi:** how do

 **datboi:** delet someone elses bullshit

 **loverrboy:**???????

 **spacePrincess:** he totally wants to bone nyma

 **pidgeotto:** speaking as a sister

 **pidgeotto:** you could do better :///

 **hunkalunk:** run while you can

 **hunkalunk:** she will drag you into her drama so quick

 **loverrboy:** HUNK

 **datboi:** are you like,,,, mad?

 **loverrboy:** why would I be mad??????

 **datboi:** bro code

 **loverrboy:** LISTEN HERE YA LITTLE SHET

 **loverrboy:** yeah she hurt me but like??? She’s still a great person

 **loverrboy:** and I don’t blame you for crushing on her tbh she’s amazing

 **loverrboy:** plus I have the best boyfriend ever so I couldn’t care less

 **pidgeotto:** DAMN LANCE

 **datboi:** i love you you’re so amazing wtf

 **daddy:** AND HE’S MINE BITCHES GET YOUR OWN LANCE

 **loverrboy:** consider this me giving you my blessing

 **loverrboy:** DAMN STRAIGHT IM YOURS AND YOU’RE MINE BITCH NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE YOU!!!

 **pidgeotto:** gross

 

 _(12:41 pm)_ **_lalalalala_ ** _to_ **_thot squad:_**

 **lalalalala:** BITCH IM AUDREY HELL YES

 **merbitch:** ahh im so happy for you

 **bubbles:** ya boi ronnette hells yeah

 **lalalalala:** crying over lance being the dentist tbh

 **bubbles:** AND LOTOR AS MUSHNIK AHH

 **loverrboy:** this shit is gonna be so fucking lit guys

 **buttercup:** im not looking forward to ez singing her songs on loop though

 **bubbles:** you LOVE my singing!!

 **buttercup:** unfortunately

 **bubbles:**  :)))

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the promised irl sneak peek:
> 
> ***  
>  So. Lance has a bit of a crush.
> 
> And it's―he hates that word. _Crush _. Like he's twelve all over again, eyes stuck on Jenny Hopkins, leaving her little notes on her desk before she gets to class. And, of course, the term brings back the inevitable rejection, crashing down on him, weighing him down.__
> 
>  
> 
> __  
> _This doesn't feel like a crush. This feels powerful, far stronger than a petty crush. And it’s lasted far longer than he thought it would.  
>  ***_
> 
>  
> 
> _  
>   
>  _
> 
>  
> 
> _  
>   
>  _


	6. idk some shit happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *crawls out from the sewers like the rat I am* YO SORRY FOR DISAPEARING A LOT HAPPENED MY BAD this chap might be kinda bad idk it feels weird cuz my bf just broke up with so I am a HOT MESS™,,
> 
> ALSO if you couldn't tell I changed the time setting bc I really didn't want the seniors to be graduating and shit yet so this now takes place during the fall semester,,,

_ (8:09 am) _ **_hunkalunk_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**hunkalunk** : so like

**hunkalunk:** y'all excited for Halloween?

**pidgeotto:** uhm???????

**pidgeotto:** it's September???????

**loverrboy:** Pidgey

**loverrboy:** podge

**loverrboy:** it's Halloween

**pidgeotto:** I just said ITS SEPTEMBER???

**hunkalunk:** it's cold outside therefore it's Halloween

**loverrboy:** I saw a leaf on the ground

**loverrboy:** can't deny the facts

**daddy:** ?

**loverrboy:** fallen leaf=halloween

**loverrboy:** keep up honey

**daddy:** u h

 

_ (3:15 pm)  _ **_datboi_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**datboi:** YALL

**datboi:** I JUST FOUND

**datboi:** FUXK GIMME A MINUTE

**loverrboy:** take your time

**datboi:** thanks Lance 

**datboi:** I FOUND CORANS INSTA

**loverrboy:** BICHT W HAT

**loverrboy:** are u FUCKIG

**loverrboy:** AM I DREAMING

**datboi:** SHJHXBKL

**pidgeotto:** matt are you fr

**datboi:** yES

**loverrboy:** BICHT WHATS HIS @

**daddy:** what did I miss?

**daddy:** OH SHIT

**daddy:** wow I didn't think he knew how to use the internet

**loverrboy:** SLANDER?

**loverrboy:** IN  _ MY  _ HOUSE???

**pidgeotto:** it's more likely than you'd think

**hunkalunk:** lmao

**datboi:** @moustachio.c0rn

**loverrboy:** IM?????????

**hunkalunk:** #blessed

**existential.crisis:** fuck not this again

**loverrboy:** YA KNOW WHAT KEITB

**loverrboy:** FUKINF

**loverrboy:** I WILL NOT TOLWRATE THIS SLANDER IN MY GOOD CORAN LOVING HOUSEHOLD

**loverrboy:** YOU DUSTY TEXAN GOBLIN OF  _ HATRED _

**pidgeotto:** did he just

**pidgeotto:** lance what the literal fUck

**pidgeotto:** did you just call keotb

**pidgeotto:** Keith**

**loverrboy:** DID I STUTTER

**pidgeotto:** no but you did say “tolwrate"

**existential.crisis:** who's the furry NOW

**existential.crisis:** not me BITCJ

**datboi:** OwO what's this

**loverrboy:** f uk

**daddy:** it really do be like that

**loverrboy:** I FEEL LIKE WE GOT DISTRACTED

**loverrboy:** IM GONNA GO REQUEST TO FOLLOW CORAN

**hunkalunk:** alright furry

**loverrboy:** IM NOT KEITH

**pidgeotto:** nya 

**existential.crisis:** oh how the turntables,,,,,

 

_ (3:52 pm)  _ **_spacePrincess_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**spacePrincess:** how did I miss furry Lance

**spacePrincess:** and Coran having an Instagram

**sunnyhoney:** I'm kinda glad I missed it tbh

**spacePrincess:** LOL

**spacePrincess:** so Shay

**spacePrincess:** how've you been

**sunnyhoney:** Oh! Pretty good :D

**spacePrincess:** oh worm?

**sunnyhoney:** I still don't get that meme….

 

_ (4:02 pm)  _ **_spacePrincess_ ** _ to  _ **_Film Project:_ **

**spacePrincess:** so I started on the screenplay for the film.

**L'oreal:** I saw

**L'oreal:** it seems a bit..

**L'oreal:** _ stiff _

**loverrboy:** DID YOU JUST INSULT MY GODDESS

**spacePrincess:** Lance hush

**spacePrincess:** he's right I've been having a hard time

**spacePrincess:** I'm just very busy with everything

**spacePrincess:** the play and studying and all of my clubs

**loverrboy:** let me do it

**spacePrincess:** are you sure?

**loverrboy:** ofc boo

**spacePrincess:** :)

 

_ (5:39 pm)  _ **_datboi:_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

**datboi:** so about Halloween,,,,

**pidgeotto:** we alREADY HAD THIS DISCUSSION ITS NOT HALLOWEEN

**datboi:** shut your  _ QUIZNAK _ pidge

**datboi:** the adults are speaking

**pidgeotto:.** I will literally end you,, I know where you sleep

**datboi:** ANYWAY

**datboi:** so in honor of the spoopy season

**datboi:** I propose we change out usernames

**datboi:** our**

**datboi:** I shall start

 

**_datboi_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_ghostboi_ **

 

**hunkalunk:** Oh heck yeah!!

 

**_hunkalunk_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_BOO!_ **

 

**_loverrboy_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_skeleboner_ **

 

**skeleboner:** ;)))

 

**_spacePrincess_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_spoopyPrincess_ **

 

**sunnyhoney:** oh!

 

**_sunnyhoney_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_candycorn_ **

 

**pidgeotto:** are you fucking

**pidgeotto:** I'm not doing it

**ghostboi:** CMON PIDGE U HAVE TO

**pidgeotto:** I really don't

**daddy:** fuck what happened to your names?

**daddy:** oh nvm

 

**_daddy_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_pumpkinspice_ **

 

**skeleboner:** ????

**skeleboner:** w h y

**pumpkinspice:** we're changing our names to something scary, right?

**spoopyPrincess:** HH

**spoopyPrincess:** in that case

 

**_spoopyPrincess_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_rejection_ **

 

**ghostboi:** MOOD

**skeleboner:** me the fuCK TOO

**rejection:** you??? have a boyfriend?????

**skeleboner:** oh YEAH

**skeleboner:** FUCK I LOVE MY LIFE RN

**existential.crisis:** do you know how hard it was to remember your usernames before??

**existential.crisis:** I HAVE.NO IDEA WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE

**existential.crisis:** well,,

**existential.crisis:** if ya can't beat em, join em

**pidgeotto:** hoe don't do it

 

**_existential.crisis_ ** _ changed their name to  _ **_m0thman_ **

 

**pidgeotto:** oh my god

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do we exists just to suffer?


	7. g r u

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> g r u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo so like,, this chap is mostly fluff and shitpost but it was really fun to write,,, just a warning that shit really goes down in the next few chapters HAHA OOPS yeah I made it angsty again,,,, yikes

 

 _(1:04 pm)_ **_rejection_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

 **rejection:** bruh did I ever tell you about my creepy ass neighbor?

 **skeleboner:** I mean you told me but idk about every1 else

 **ghostboi:** the one who's always outside and staring at you when you walk your dog?

 **rejection:** yeahh that one

 **rejection:** so his crusty ass Grandpa was out right

 **rejection:** and I was just walkin Minnie as usual

 **rejection:** and his decaying ass decided to talk to me

 **BOO!:** oh gross

 **BOO!:** what did he say??

 **rejection:** so at first he was friendly right

 **rejection:** like he asked how Minnie was and shit

 **rejection:** and then he was like “you know today is my birthday”

 **rejection:** so like the good person I am I was like “oh happy b day you old fuck”

 **rejection:** not exactly those words but you get the gist

 **skeleboner:** HAPPY B DAY YOU OLD FUCK IM WHEEZING

 **rejection:** and he was like “no need, seeing your beautiful face is the only gift I need”

 **rejection:** which, ok, nice and all whatever

 **rejection:** but he like,,,,, _winked_

 **rejection:** and kinda licked his lips and Ugh™

 **ghostboi:** yuck

 **rejection:** LIKE THERE ARE A MILLION OTHER THINGS YOU COULD BE DOING

 **rejection:** why did hE HAVE TO SPEND HIS TIME CREEPING ON A HIGHSCHOOL GIRL

 **skeleboner:** the real question is,,,

 **skeleboner:** can he even.get it up

 **ghostboi:** PFT

 **candycorn:** Lance!

 **rejection:** I'd rather not think about his crusty old man dick

 **skeleboner:** but go off I guess

 

 _(2:56 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

 **pidgeotto:** y'all ever just look at your body

 **pidgeotto:** and like

 **pidgeotto:** you're like “holy shit man that's _my_ body”

 **pidgeotto:** wtf I have a body this is mine I'm a whole person

 **candycorn:** are you high?

 **pidgeotto:** lmao ya

 **m0thman:** hah yupp

 **candycorn:** *sigh*

 **BOO!:** hey Lance

 **BOO!:** Laaaaaaaaaanceeee

 **skeleboner:**??

 **BOO!:** do you remember when we were like five and you wanted some water

 **BOO!:** and you couldn't remember how to properly ask in English

 **BOO!:** and you asked my mom “may I have piece of drink water?”

 **BOO!:** that was funny as hell

 **skeleboner:** I hate you,,

 

 _(1:23 pm)_ **_L'oreal_ ** _to_ **_Film Project:_ **

 

 **L'oreal:** Lance the script looks terrible

 **skeleboner:** exCUSE ME?

 **skeleboner:** LISTEN UP YOU DISCOUNT LEGOLAS IT LOOKS GREAT

 **L'oreal:** it says fuck a total of thirty times

 **L'oreal:** there isn't even any action it's just words

 **blaze_it:** actually I think it's really funny

 **blaze_it:** it's like an episode of drunk history or something

 **ghostboi:** LIGHTBULB™

 **ghostboi:** why don't we just do it like a drunk history??

 **rejection:** guys can we take this seriously?

 **pumpkinspice:** actually Allura it sounds like a good idea

 **pumpkinspice:** it's really original and I think Thace would like it

 **L'oreal:** I vote no

 **skeleboner:** okay but no one here likes you except for Allura so your opinion is INVALID and UNWANTED

 **ghostboi:** daaaaaamn

 **rejection:** Lance can you please play nice?

 **skeleboner:** fine but only for you princess

 **L'oreal:** eat a dick

 **skeleboner:** OKAY

 **skeleboner:** Shiro let's go

 **pumpkinspice:** NO

 **ghostboi:** don't act like you don't want it ho

 **pumpkinspice:** hhh

 **rejection:** anyways we should vote

 **rejection:** and _every_ vote is valid, LANCE

 **skeleboner:** fine,,

 **skeleboner:** I vote yes

 **ghostboi:** I will always back up my sin

 **ghostboi:** son**

 **skeleboner:** you were right the first time ;)))

 **ghostboi:** LMAO

 **rejection:** I vote no

 **skeleboner:** et tu, Brutus?

 **rejection:** drama queen

 **pumpkinspice:** it sounds fun so yeah

 **blaze_it:** I think it sounds like a good idea

 **blaze_it:** the more original we are the more points we get

 **rejection:** Lotor we've been outvoted

 **rejection:** so we'll be doing the drunk history film

 **skeleboner:** eat shit and die, pretty boy

 **L'oreal:** is that an insult or a compliment?

 **skeleboner:** BOTH

 **skeleboner:** bc I really like your hair

 **L'oreal:** Oh

 **skeleboner:** tell me what you do to it I Need To Know

 **skeleboner:** My Crops Are Dying™

 **L'oreal:** oh um coconut oil before I go to bed and tea tree hair masks

 **skeleboner:** thanks

 **skeleboner** : I still hate your stupid guts

 **L'oreal:**???

 

 _(4:10)_ **_skeleboner_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

 **skeleboner:** y'all

 **m0thman:** don't appropriate my culture Lance

 **skeleboner:** first off you whities have been appropriating my culture since the beginning of time so shut your quiznak

 **m0thman:** o h

 **skeleboner:** BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING B4 I WAS RUDELY INTERRUPTED

 **skeleboner:** so I watched despicable me 3 for the first time

 **skeleboner:** with my cousin

 **skeleboner:** and I've decided that's it's not that bad

 **pidgeotto:** d i e

 **ghostboi:** nononono he's got a point

 **ghostboi:** like as far as movies go it's kinda cute and heartwarming

 **ghostboi:** Facebook minion memes aside

 **BOO!:** yeah actually I enjoyed it

 **rejection:** are we just gonna ignore the fact that Shiro is gru?

 **skeleboner:** BICHT W HAT

 **pidgeotto:**?!?!?!

 **pidgeotto:** h o w ? ?

 **rejection:** they're both shaped like a Dorito

 **skeleboner:** AHSKJB

 **pumpkinspice:** I have

 **pumpkinspice:** no words,,

 **pumpkinspice:** I thought to myself 'hey I haven't checked the chat in awhile’

 **pumpkinspice:** and THIS is what I come back to

 **skeleboner:** oh babbbe

 **skeleboner:** my precious little gru

 **pumpkinspice:** nO

 **skeleboner:** YES

 **candycorn:** Shiro should be gru for Halloween

 **m0thman:** AHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

 **pidgeotto:** I would actually cry

 **pidgeotto:** please no

 **candycorn:** it would be so cute though!

 **skeleboner:** and I could be your sexy minion

 **candycorn:** …

 **ghostboi:** …

 **m0thman:** …

 **BOO!:** …

 **rejection:** …

 **pidgeotto:** are you

 **pidgeotto:** are you implying that,,

 **pidgeotto:** gru is,,

 **pidgeotto:** _fucking the minions_

 **skeleboner:** are you implying that he _isn't?_

 **m0thman:** Lance whAT THE FUCK

 **rejection:** I'm

 **rejection:** I have no words

 **BOO!:** lance I love you bro but this is too much

 **pumpkinspice** : uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 **skeleboner:** idk man there's something fishy goin on there

 **skeleboner:** have you SEEN how thiccc Dave is in minions?

 **m0thman:** top ten questions scientists can't answer: is gru sticking his meat in that yellow tush™

 **BOO!:** how do you delete someone else's message?¿

 

(5:43 pm) **ghostboi** to **pidgeotto:**

 

 **ghostboi:** I'll pay you to hack into Shiro's account and change his name to gru

 **pidgeotto:** no need for money but I'll take it

 **pidgeotto:** >:))

 **ghostboi:** hh

 **pidgeotto:** love you~

 

**_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

 **_pumpkinspice_ ** _changed their name to_ **_gru_ **

 

 **gru:** WHAT THE

 **gru:** I swear to God this wasn't me wtf

 **ghostboi:** AHAHA

 **gru:** matt did you do this??????

 **gru:** I'm trying to change it back but it's not working

 **gru:** HELP

 **skeleboner:** oh my fucking god

 **skeleboner:** hold on let me screenshot this

 **ghostboi:** I WISH I DID THIS LMAOO

 **pidgeotto:** wow Shiro fucks minions confirmed?

 **skeleboner:** OMFG

 **skeleboner:** this is????? the funniest thing????

 **rejection:** GRU OMG

 **gru:** guys this isn't funny I CANT CHANGE IT

 **m0thman:** local dad can't figure out how to change his name in his phone

 **m0thman:** you'll never believe what happens next!

 **ghostboi:** okay there Gloria borger

 **skeleboner:** is that a fuckinn

 **skeleboner:** pewdiepie reference?¿

 **candycorn:** I really don't like PewDiePie I don't think he's funny

 **pidgeotto:** t r a s h

 **skeleboner:** he's not THAT BAD GUYS

 **skeleboner:** he got funnier ok

**pidgeotto:** he  murders  memes

**skeleboner:** okay but why did you reference meme review if you hate him so much

**skeleboner:** HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM 

**m0thman:** exposed

**pidgeotto:** I may or may not

**pidgeotto:** watch his videos

**pidgeotto:** BUT ONLY WHEN IM BORED OK

**skeleboner:** a likely story

**ghostboi:** she full of it I've seen her YouTube history

**ghostboi:** she watches him all the time

**rejection:** it really do be like that

**candycorn:** smh my head

**skeleboner:** GOOD JOB SHAY

**ghostboi:** Shay??? memeing???? it's more likely than you'd think

**BOO!:** #proudboyfriend

**m0thman:** ya know I never thought I'd see the day

**candycorn:** aww guys!

**gru:** OKAY BUT WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT HOW IVE BEEN HACKED

**gru:** AND AM NOW STUCK AS GRU

**BOO!:** sorry bud I think you're stuck like that

**gru:** PIDGE PLEASE HELP

**pidgeotto:** hmm,,,,

**pidgeotto:** let me think about it,,,,

**pidgeotto:** yeah no sorry

**gru:** f uk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah I laughed my ass off writing this lol  
> you can come laugh with me on my [tumblr](https://smelly-milk.tumblr.com/) or if you're not a basic edgy ho you can hmu on [instagram](https://www.instagram.com/smelly.milk/) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/ewburnit?lang=en) (be warned that I'm on insta like 24/7 and usually avoid twitter like the plague lmao)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah welcome back to this clusterfucK

**_BOO!_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

**BOO!:** did you guys get invited to rolo's party next Friday?

**skeleboner:** yupyup

**skeleboner:** me and Rolo are like bff's

**BOO!:** you big liar

**skeleboner:** okay so we kinda are friends

**skeleboner:** we hung out a few times when me and Nyma were dating

**ghostboi:** I'm going

**ghostboi:** Nyma invited me

**skeleboner:** oooOOOOOOOoooooOoooooohhhh

**skeleboner:** a date?

**ghostboi:** hh idk

**ghostboi:** I mean I hope?

**skeleboner:** AW

**BOO!:** snake

**skeleboner:** huuunk

**skeleboner:** we talked about this

**candycorn:** ^^

**candycorn:** we're all going to be civil

**BOO!:** fine

**BOO!:** but if I'm going to be civil with Nyma then Lance has to be civil with lotor

**skeleboner:** oh ew

**skeleboner:** nvm be as mean as u want

**candycorn:** Lance

**skeleboner:** she's doing the mom face isn't she?

**BOO!:** yeah

**skeleboner:** f uck

**skeleboner:** fine I will be CIVIL

**skeleboner:** but only bc of you Shay

**rejection:** didn't you say the same thing like two days ago and says it was only bc of me?

**skeleboner:** okay yeah but you're mean so I changed my mind

**gru:** Lotor did tell him to eat a dick, Allura

**skeleboner:** THANK YOU!!

**rejection:** right after lance said his opinion was invalid bc no one likes him

**ghostboi:** dayum

**m0thman:** kitty got claws

**skeleboner:** shut up furry

**m0thman:** uhm wasn't it confirmed that YOU'RE the furry?

**pidgeotto:** Keith you'll always be the furry of the group no matter how many times Lance proves that it's really him

**m0thman:** are you fuckin

**m0thman:** UGH

**gru:** at least you're not stuck as gru

 

**_merbitch_ ** _ to  _ **_thot squad:_ **

 

**merbitch:** play rehearsal today!!!

**bubbles:** we can FINALLY be Christine

**bubbles:** :D

**skeleboner:** I'm really excited,,,, like,,,,, uGh

**lalalalalala:** honestly same I can't wait to be AUDREY AHH

**skeleboner:** okay but are you excited to smorch Matt

**skeleboner:** ;)))

**lalalalalala:** UHM

**merbitch:** oH SHIT GIVE ME THE TEA

**merbitch:** do you like matt?????????

**rejection:** the plot THICKENS

**lalalalalala:** he's cute idk

**lalalalalala:** but 

**rejection:** but?

**skeleboner:** heh butt

**lalalalalala:** I think most of his friends hate me

**lalalalalala:** other than you and Lance

**rejection:** … not ALL of them

**skeleboner:** I tried to make them like you I SWEAR

**rejection:** it's mostly hunk tbh

**lalalalalala:** yeah I can feel him glaring at me like 24/7

**lalalalalala:** I apologized so I don't see the problem

**skeleboner:** hmm

**skeleboner:** you apologized to me but maybe you need to apologise to him?

**skeleboner:** idk he was pretty hurt about what happened

**lalalalalala:** really?

**skeleboner:** I mean you guys weren't like  _ close _ but he still considered you a friend

**skeleboner:** idk maybe that's why he's so upset

**lalalalalala:** I'll talk to him after rehearsal tonight

**merbitch:** okay but are u gonna fuck Matt

**buttercup:** oh gross heteros

 

_ (3:16 pm)  _ **_ghostboi_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

**ghostboi:** so are we just gonna sleep on “may I have a piece of drink water?”

**pidgeotto:** ??

**ghostboi:** you were high when hunk told the story ugH

**ghostboi:** just scroll up I'm toolazy to screenshot

**pidgeotto:** LMAO

**pidgeotto:** Lance you are,,,,  _ special _

**skeleboner:** ya know what

**pidgeotto:** oh god he's been typing for awhile

**pidgeotto:** bet it's a rant of some sorts

**skeleboner:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in guerilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

**pidgeotto:** did you type that?

**pidgeotto:** or was that copy and paste?

**m0thman:** top ten questions scientists can't answer

 

_ (5:02 pm)  _ **_merbitch_ ** _ added  _ **_skeleboner, rejection, ghostboi, lalalalalala, L'oreal, bubbles, buttercup, mojojojo, candycorn, BOO!, m0thman, pidgeotto, blaze_it, queenLuxia, yoohoo, SlavaLamp, flowergirl,_ ** _ and  _ **_gru_ ** _ to  _ **_PLAY REHEARSAL BITCHES!!!_ **

 

**merbitch:** So this is obviously for everyone in the play including backstage!!

**merbitch:** to start off we should do some introductions

**merbitch:** bc there's some obvious new names and the reader might get confused

**skeleboner:** damn plax breakin the fourth wall smh my head

**skeleboner:** anyway I'm Lance, I play Scrivello, you know the drill

**merbitch:** (I'm hot and pissed and on the pill)

**skeleboner:** FUCK NICE REFERENCE

**merbitch:** I try :)

**merbitch:** anyway yeah I'm obviously plaxum

**ghostboi:** ya boi matt, who plays Seymour 

**flowergirl:** Florona!! I'm working on props

**queenLuxia:** Quite obviously I'm Mrs. Luxia.

**queenLuxia:** I would prefer it if you all didn't swear too much in the chat.

**queenLuxia:** But I know you will so as a result I will most likely not be checking in too often in order to protect my opinions of you all.

**pidgeotto:** it me, pidge,,,,, head of tech

**rejection:** Allura, part of the chorus

**L'oreal:** I'm Lotor, and I play Mushnik

**lalalalalala:** move over biatch, it's Nyma

**bubbles:** Ezor, also in chorus

**gru:** Shiro, backstage

**gru:** ignore the name,,,,,

**mojojojo:** zethrid, backstage

**candycorn:** Shay, backstage too

**yoohoo:** Sven, also backstage

**skeleboner:** OH SHIT HI SVEN

**skeleboner:** I DIDNT KNOW THIS WAS YOUR @

**yoohoo:** yes hi Lance

**skeleboner:** :DDDDD

**SlavaLamp:** Slav, working house crew

**gru:** godfuck

**gru:** uggggGGGGHHHhhhHHHhHHhh

**m0thman:** Keith,,, Lance dragged me into working backstage

**skeleboner:** >:))

**BOO!:** Hunk!! also in backstage

**merbitch:** I think that's everyone??

**merbitch:** idk the author is tired so you should know the rest

**candycorn:** *gasp*

**merbitch:** anyWAY YEAH HI WELCOME TO THE CAST

**skeleboner:** so me and plax discussed this

**skeleboner:** basically this is a chat just to hear about updates and maybe make friends?

**skeleboner:** so try not to fight in the chat

**skeleboner:** *cough* hunk, lotor, shiro *cough*

**gru:** it's not my fault slav is an annoying pice of shit

**BOO!:** I agreed to play nice already

**L'oreal:** okay Lance you're the one always starting shit

**lalalalalala:** okay but how did your grudge even start??

**skeleboner:** ugghhhhHhh fine

**skeleboner:** so at first I didn't like Lotor because of his stupid pretty hair

**skeleboner:** and I didn't trust him idk he looks like a snake

**skeleboner:** so he tried to,, show me some of his poetry freshman year?

**skeleboner:** and I totally bashed on him for it

**skeleboner:** so now we hate each other

**merbitch:** Lance!

**skeleboner:** in my defense it was  _ really  _ edgy

**L'oreal:** he has a point

**L'oreal:** I think I wrote, and I'm quoting here, “there are more demons in my head than stars in the sky”

**m0thman:** and I though  _ I  _ was edgy lmao

**lalalalalala:** yikes

**skeleboner:** so to start off on good terms I guess,,,,,,,

**skeleboner:** Lotor, I'm sorry for insulting your stupid poetry

**L'oreal:** and im sorry for calling you a fat whore

**BOO!:** UH EXCUSE ME

**skeleboner:** oh fuck

**BOO!:** YOU DID  _ WHAT? _

**L'oreal:** I shouldn't have done it but I was upset at the time

**L'oreal:** there was,,, alot going on

**BOO!:** Lance why didn't you tell me this fake ass hoe called you fat

**BOO!:** is that why you went all nutty about Heath and working out freshman year?

**BOO!:** and ended up in the  _ hospital???????? _

**skeleboner:** kinda? idk it doesn't matter

**gru:** hold on

**gru:** WHAT?

**BOO!:** he overworked himself and wasn't eating and shit so he collapsed one day and missed like a week of school

**gru:** you told us it was because your cat died

**skeleboner:** motherfucker

**skeleboner:** are you fucking kidding me

**skeleboner:** Hunk I told you not to tell anyone 

**skeleboner:** Why the hell did you decide to text the whole story in a chat with almost 20 fucking people

**skeleboner:** _ ONE OF WHICH IS A TEACHER _

**m0thman:** I am,,, concerned,

**m0thman:** Lance are you,, okay?

**skeleboner:** obviously not, Keith

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has left the chat _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I told you it would get angsty,,, next chapter is worse lmao // oops ANYWAY yeah sorry about the cliffhanger and whatnot but the next chapter should be up sometime today or tomorrow so yeee
> 
> as usual I'm available on Tumblr, Instagram, and twitter. come call me a minion fucker idk,,


	9. uH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 crashed like 3 times while posting this imma kermit,,,,

_ (5:30 pm)  _ **_lalalalalala_ ** _ to  _ **_PLAY REHEARSAL BITCHES!!!:_ **

 

**lalalalalala:** um

**lalalalalala:** that was….

**bubbles:** should we

**bubbles:** talk to him? 

**rejection:** honestly I think he's being overdramatic

**rejection:** he'll get over it in an hour or two,, his tantrums never last long

**candycorn:** that's a bit.. rude

**rejection:** it's the truth

**L'oreal:** that may be but you're his friend and shouldn't talk like that behind his back

**candycorn:** or in general, Allura

**rejection:** whatever I'm done with his drama

**merbitch:** ooooookay then

**merbitch:** …

 

_ (5:30 pm)  _ **_BOO!_ ** _ to  _ **_skeleboner:_ **

 

**BOO!:** Lance are you okay?

**BOO!:** I'm sorry about telling everyone

**BOO!:** it was really out of line

**skeleboner:** yeah it was

**BOO!:** I'm really sorry

**skeleboner:** I know

**skeleboner:** …

**skeleboner:** what pisses me off the most is that you keep doing this

**BOO!:** wym

**skeleboner:** it's the whole situation with Nyma all over again where you told everyone about why we broke up

**skeleboner:** you are always telling people who have no right to my business like that

**BOO!:** I apologized for that!

**skeleboner:** just like you're doing now!

**skeleboner:** but apologies mean nothing if you aren't changing the behavior

**skeleboner:** you can't just keep doing the same thing over and over and expect to be forgiven just because you apologize

**skeleboner:** it's not fair to me at all

**BOO!:** I've been trying, Lance

**BOO!:** I kept you and Shiro a secret, didn't I?

**skeleboner:** oh yeah you kept a secret for like two days

**skeleboner:** big whoop

**BOO!:** now you're just being dramatic

**skeleboner:** are you fucking serious

**BOO!:** You're blowing this way out of proportion just like you always do

**BOO!:** something minor happens and you throw a fit until someone pities you and apologizes

**skeleboner:** seriously?

**BOO!:** yes, Lance. It's unfair to everyone around you

**BOO!:** all you ever do is make something into something bigger 

**skeleboner:** are you saying that what I'm feeling is, what?

**skeleboner:** _ invalid? _

**BOO!:** No, Lance

**BOO!:** I'm saying that I'm not the only one at fault here

**BOO!:** you're being unreasonable and overreacting

**skeleboner:** NO

**skeleboner:** YOU TILD EVERYONE SOMETHING THAT WAS PRIVATE TO ME

**skeleboner:** SOMETHING THAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE

**BOO!:** IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL

**BOO!:** THEYRE ALL YOUR FRIENDS

**skeleboner:** BUT I DIDNT WANT THEM TO KNOW HUNK

**skeleboner:** YOU BROKE A PROMISE TO ME! THATS WHY IM SO UPSET

**BOO!:** Lance I can't deal with your overdramatic bullshit right now

**BOO!:** because I'm always the one dealing with your shit and I'm sick of it

**skeleboner:** fuck off then!

**skeleboner:** don't deal with my shit ever see if I fucking care

**BOO!:** you're doING IT AGAIN

**BOO!:** I DIDN'T SAY THAT 

**BOO!:** ALL I SAID WAS THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHTNOW

**skeleboner:** You are such an asshole

**BOO!:** LISTEN

**BOO!:** HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I DELT WITH YOUR LITTLE TANTRUMS

**BOO!:** AND HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU THANKED ME???

**BOO!:** oh, that's right, NEVER

**skeleboner:** So you're gonna make this about you?

**BOO!:** ITS NEVER BEEN ABOUT ME

**BOO!:** it's always been about you, Lance, and I'm sick of it

**skeleboner:** fuck off hunk

**skeleboner:** don't try to fucking talk to me again 

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has blocked  _ **_BOO!_ **

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has left  _ **_shark tank fanclub_ **

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has left  _ **_the three amigos_ **

 

_ (7:06 am) _ **_pidgeotto_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

**pidgeotto:** so what happened last night

**pidgeotto:** hunk?

**BOO!:** I don't really want to talk about it, honestly

**BOO!:** I'm still mad

**candycorn:** you two fought?

**BOO!:** this is our first ever real fight

**BOO!:** I'm just,, not ready to talk to him yet

**m0thman:** I feel

**ghostboi:** so,,,,

**ghostboi:** what's up?

**ghostboi:** other than that whole clusterfuck

**m0thman:** I'm just watching youtube

**pidgeotto:** same lmao

**gru:** you should both be getting ready for school

**pidgeotto:** ugHh 

**m0thman:** dad mode yuck

**m0thman:** I am ready I'm just waiting a bit before I leave

**ghostboi:** you ride your board to school right?

**m0thman:** yeah

**ghostboi:** sHe SaId He’S a Sk8Er BoI sHe SaId SeE yA l8Er BoI

**m0thman:** eradicate yourself

**pidgeotto:** can Avril Levine just,,,,, not ever be quoted again?

**ghostboi:** smh what's wrong with my girl Levine

**m0thman:** okay yeah she had  _ decent  _ music early 2000s

**m0thman:** complicated was a bop for sure

**m0thman:** but she turned into some weird pop kawaii freak

**pidgeotto:** ^^

**pidgeotto:** have you heard her Hello Kitty song?

**m0thman:** it's disgusting

**ghostboi:** if Lance were here he would back up my girl with me :’((

**m0thman:** that's bc Lance thinks Beyonce is music

**rejection:** okay there MCR

**m0thman:** I don't listen to MCR

**m0thman** : I  _ used  _ to like them like,,,,, two years ago

**pidgeotto:** once an emo always an emo

**m0thman:** fuck you guys

 

_ (10:55 am)  _ **_ghostboi_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

**ghostboi:** hey Shiro

**ghostboi:** where the fuck is lance?

**gru:** wym

**ghostboi:** he's not at our lunch spot

**gru:** idk man he hasn't talked to me all day

**rejection:** of  _ course _ he hasn't

**gru:** what's  _ that  _ supposed to mean?

**rejection:** nothing

**pidgeotto:** …

 

_ (10:57 am)  _ **_gru_ ** _ to  _ **_skeleboner:_ **

**gru:** hey where are you?

**skeleboner:** I'm taking a break from hunk

**skeleboner:** so I'm hanging out with Plax and Flora

**skeleboner:** and Nyma 

**skeleboner:** they all say hi

**skeleboner:** and plax says she wants you to hold her in your superior dad arms

**skeleboner:** bicth me too

**gru:** lmao okay

**gru:** so I'll see you later though right?

**skeleboner:** as long as hunk isn't around then yeah

**skeleboner:** hey actually can you drive me home after rehearsal?

**skeleboner:** me and hunk usually carpool

**gru:** yeah totally

**gru:** I live you

**gru:** love** 

**gru:** lol

**skeleboner:** …

**skeleboner:** I love you too

 

_ (11:01 am)  _ **_gru_ ** _ to  _ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

 

**gru:** he says hes taking a break

**gru:** and that he's with Plaxum, Florona, and Nyma

**pidgeotto:** o h

**rejection:** of course

 

_ (5:03 pm)  _ **_skeleboner_ ** _ to  _ **_rejection:_ **

 

**skeleboner:** hey lura

**skeleboner:** are you mad at me?

**rejection:** what gave you that impression

**skeleboner:** you were just,, idk kinda cold during rehearsal

**rejection:** I'm a little mad

**skeleboner:** about what?

**rejection:** about what happened with lotor

**skeleboner:** I apologized to him

**skeleboner:** I haven't said a single mean thing to him

**rejection:** I'm mad about what happened freshman year

**rejection:** you just,, judged him without even getting to know him

**skeleboner:** you did the same thing!

**skeleboner:** both with him and with Keith

**skeleboner:** because you didn't like their parents

**rejection:** it's different

**skeleboner:** no???? it's kinda not

**skeleboner:** and besides

**skeleboner:** what he said literally _ put me in the hospital _

**skeleboner:** you're gonna take his side on this??

**rejection:** okay no

**rejection:** you blew what he said way out of proportion

**rejection:** yeah okay he called you a fat whore whatever

**rejection:** he didn't tell you to starve yourself for no reason

**skeleboner:** he made me have a mental breakdown

**rejection:** over a few words? after you had already insulted him?

**rejection:** if you can't handle the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen Lance

**rejection:** you can't just take Evey little comment to heart

**rejection:** every**

**rejection:** it's pathetic

**skeleboner:** ARE YOU CALLING ME PATHETIC??

**rejection:** yeah Lance

**rejection:** how you reacted was pathetic

**rejection:** back in freshman year and last night

**skeleboner:** fuck 

**skeleboner:** you

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has blocked  _ **_rejection_ **

 

**_skeleboner_ ** _ has left  _ **_the thot squad_ **

 

 ** _skeleboner_** _changed their name to_ ** _lanceylance_**

 

_ (5:12 pm) _ **_lanceylance_ ** _ to  _ **_gru:_ **

 

**lanceylance:** fcuk

**lanceylance:** Shiro canuou comw ovre

**gru:** ah shit Lance no sorry

**gru:** I'm babysitting for my uncle

**gru:** why what's wrong

**lanceylance:** everuthinf id falling apaty

**gru:** fuck what happened honey

**lanceylance:** fuck give me a minute

**lanceylance:** Allura and I got into a fight

**gru:** what??

**lanceylance:** yeah

**lanceylance:** she started chewing me out for the whole Lotor drama and called me pathetic

**lanceylance:** and I'm just

**lanceylance:** right after everything with hunk

**lanceylance:** I'm kinda da freaking out

**gru:** what exactly did hunk say?

**gru:** you never told me

**lanceylance:** he basically said that I make everything about me and that I'm way too dramatic

**lanceylance:** all because I said he needs to stop telling everyone my business

**gru:** you're entitled to the way you feel

**gru:** you just,, feel everything 10x stronger than the rest of us do

**lanceylance:** I'm just sick of him telling people things that are private

**gru:** well..

**gru:** you know he means well

**gru:** you tend to bottle things up and he was just trying to help

**gru:** you can't just  _ only _ rely on hunk to handle your problems

**lanceylance:** you too?

**lanceylance:** why is everyone just shitting on me today???

**gru:** nonono I'm just saying you should open up more

**gru:** relying on just hunk is putting strain on your friendship

**lanceylance:** Shiro I can't just open up that easily

**lanceylance:** Obviously hunk has proven I can't trust  _ anyone _

**gru:** you can trust me

**lanceylance:** that's not how trust  _ works  _ Shiro

**lanceylance:** I can't just wake up one day and believe that if I tell you all my baggage that you'll just,, accept me

**gru:** Lance I'm your boyfriend of course I'll accept you

**gru:** idk sometimes I feel like I barely know you

**gru:** you never tell me what's really bothering you

**gru:** it just hurts that you don't trust me

**lanceylance:** I can't just do that Shiro!

**lanceylance:** you're not understanding

**lanceylance:** I don't deserve you

**lanceylance:** I'm just,,, I'm gonna go

**lanceylance:** I need to take some time to think

 

**_lanceylance_ ** _ has deleted their account. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls dont hate allura :( aNd dont worry the drama will b over in like,,,,,, two chapters idk shitposting will return soon uwu


	10. DRAMA ALERT WITH KILLER KEEMSTAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plan uwu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is keemstar still funny?? ,,,no????? oH wEll,,
> 
> anyway this chap is rlly short yeet i just wanted to start to get things fixed while i debate on where to go after this arc lol come hmu on [tumblr](https://smelly-milk.tumblr.com/) and i most likey will put any of your ideas into this bad boy bc im lost lol PLS IM DESPERATE FOR HELP UWU

 

_ (8:11 pm)  _ **_ghostboi_ ** _ added  _ **_pidgeotto, candycorn, m0thman, gru, merbitch,_ ** _ and  _ **_lalalalalala_ ** _ to  _ **_DRAMA ALERT_ **

 

**ghostboi:** so we need to fix this

**m0thman:** yeah we do

**merbitch:** everything going on with Lance?

**ghostboi:** yeah bc it's gotten out of hand

**ghostboi:** he deleted his account and isn't responding to any of our calls or texts

**gru:** we had a bit of an argument before he deleted the account

**gru:** it's my fault

**pidgeotto:** are you fucking

**pidgeotto:** let's start from the beginning

**pidgeotto:** this all started bc hunk told us about why he was in the hospital, correct?

**gru:** yeah

**m0thman:** okay so how the fuck did it end up like this??

**gru:** okay

**gru:** so this is just what I got from Lance

**gru:** apparently hunk texted him and apologized

**gru:** but Lance was upset because hunk broke his promise to keep it a secret

**gru:** and hunk told him that Lance was being over dramatic and that Lance needed to stop expecting him to deal with all of his baggage

**pidgeotto:** that's kinda,, fucked

**gru:** and after rehearsal today Lance texted Allura

**gru:** and apparently Allura was mad about how he treated Lotor without even knowing him

**gru:** and called Lance pathetic bc he had a breakdown over what Lotor said

**m0thman:** okay but Allura has prejudice issues too????

**m0thman:** how long did it take for her to warm up to me??

**pidgeotto:** wait you're saying she called him pathetic?

**merbitch:** wtf can I fight her

**ghostboi:** fuck okay and what did you two fight about

**gru:** it wasn't.. really a  _ fight _

**gru:** he told me what happened and I said that he shouldn't rely on only hunk for his problems

**gru:** and that he should rely on us more bc it's stressing hunk out

**gru:** he said it's not that easy and that he can't just expect us to accept him??

**ghostboi:** so the main issue here is Lance's trust issues

**ghostboi:** this all started bc Lance thought he could trust hunk, and hunk broke that trust

**lalalalalala:** okay but what about Allura

**candycorn:** I think Allura is projecting onto Lance

**candycorn:** she doesn't realize that her and him were the same in their prejudice and wants to rectify her own actions by putting down Lance

**candycorn:** And her own feelings over Lance being “overdramatic” are most likely an accumulation of frustration over Lance's habit of getting upset easily

**candycorn:** so part of the issue is Lance's trust issues and part of it is Allura's frustration at being unable to help Lance with his emotional rollercoaster

**ghostboi:** o h

**pidgeotto:** that was,, really good Shay wtf

**lalalalalala:** okay but we need to figure out the cause of Lance's emotional turmoil

**lalalalalala:** in order to fix this

**gru:** the cause?

**gru:** wouldn't the cause of his turmoil be himself???

**gru:** I mean isn't he just an emotional person in general?

**m0thman:** not really

**m0thman:** I mean kinda yeah he tends to be on the emotional side but this is different

**m0thman:** there's gotta be something going on, probably at home, that he refuses to tell us

**pidgeotto:** he doesn't want to burden us

**pidgeotto:** that's the problem

**gru:** what do you think is going on at home?

**gru:** he hasn't mentioned anything

**merbitch:** I can try to talk to him mom

**merbitch:** lmao him I sound like a caveman

**merbitch:** I meant his*

**merbitch:** me, hunk, and Lance grew up on the same street so that's how we know each other

**lalalalalala:** I didn't know that..

**merbitch:** it just never came up I guess

**merbitch:** I'll talk to him tomorrow and if that doesn't work I'll ask his mom

**ghostboi:** Pidge, Keith

**ghostboi:** try to talk to him during Latin

**ghostboi:** don't pressure him or anything just let him know that you're there

**pidgeotto:** ofc

**ghostboi:** me and Shiro will handle Allura

**ghostboi:** and I'll need plax and Shay to talk down hunk

**candycorn:** we'll try our best

**gru:** I hope this works

**gru:** bc I really don't like not talking to lance

**pidgeotto:** it  _ is _ pretty weird

**ghostboi:** as a wise man once said:

**ghostboi:** can we fix it?

**ghostboi:** yes we can!

**lalalalalala:** is that fuckin,,, Bob the builder

**ghostboi:** yes

**lalalalalala:** fuck that's hot

  
  
  



	11. resolution?? KINDA????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow I barely resolved anything o o p s,,,  
> yeah idk I took a break halfway through writing this chapter and I came back like a month later so it probably doesn't flow,,, and I got lazy lmao

_(7:42 am)_ **_ghostboi_ ** _to_ **_the crush corner™:_ **

****

**ghostboi:** yoyo

**ghostboi:** is that worksheet due today??

**rejection:** the cannon bard one?

**ghostboi:** ya

**rejection:** oh then yes it's due by the end of the period

**rejection:** you should be able to get it done by then

**ghostboi:** okay but,,,, hear me out,,,,

**ghostboi:** _procrastination_

**rejection:** Matt

**rejection:** don't be dumb and do your work for once

**rejection:** you can't keep not doing it and then complaining about your grades

**gru:** Allura it was a joke calm down

**rejection:** whatever

**gru:** are you,, okay?

**rejection:** ugh I'm sorry about having such a short temper

**rejection:** I'm just really stressed it feels like I'm trying to do way too much all at once

**rejection:** between my four AP classes and all of the clubs

**rejection:** it's,, a lot

**ghostboi:** listen

**ghostboi:** I understand being stressed

**ghostboi:** but lately you've been lashing out on the wrong people

**rejection:** I just apologized??

**ghostboi:** not just us

**ghostboi:** Lance too

**rejection:** seriously?

**rejection:** I don't want to talk about Lance

**gru:** honestly Allura I don't care if you don't want to talk about what happened

**gru:** I don't care how stressed you are that doesn't give you the right to call your friend pathetic

**rejection:** he was acting like a toddler and I'm sick of it

**gru:** Listen to me.

**gru:** He didn't deserve what you said to him, regardless if he was overreacting or not

**gru:** you're his friend and are supposed to be there for him

**rejection:** well maybe I don't want to be

**ghostboi:** bullshit

**ghostboi:** you two have been friends since 6th grade

**rejection:** I don't want to talk about this right now

**ghostboi:** you know what? fine.

**ghostboi:** but you're ruining your relationships

****

_(10:10 am)_ **_candycorn_ ** _to_ **_BOO!:_ **

****

**candycorn:** hey babe

**candycorn:** how are you doing?

**BOO!:** shitty

**BOO!:** I hate being mad at Lance

**candycorn:** you never told me what happened

**BOO!:** I apologized

**BOO!:** and he was upset because I do the same thing and expect an apology to fix everything

**BOO!:** I feel bad for telling everyone

**candycorn:** I know you didn't mean to

**BOO!:** I keep breaking his trust

**candycorn:** you know he still loves you, right?

**BOO!:** Of course

**BOO!:** he's just,, stressing me out

**BOO!:** I know there's something going on with his dad but he won't tell me what and

**BOO!:** I just hate feeling helpless

**BOO!:** and I hate that he won't trust any of our other friends

**candycorn:** listen

**candycorn:** Lance's problem is that he doesn't want to burden us all with his issues

**candycorn:** I think he feels like he's not worthy of having all of us as friends and he doesn't want to tell anyone what's wrong because he's not only scared of burdening us all

**candycorn:** but also because he's scared we won't love him if he does tell us what's wrong

**BOO!:** We need to talk this out but I'm not sure how

**candycorn:** we have everyone trying to diffuse the situation

**BOO!:** the situation? is there more?

**candycorn:** Allura and him fought as well

**BOO!:** oh shit

**BOO!:** what,, happened?

**candycorn:** it's not my business to tell but Lance is dealing with a lot

**BOO!:** we can fix this

**candycorn:** yes, we can

****

_(1:08 pm)_ **_pidgeotto_ ** _to_ **_DRAMA ALERT:_ **

****

**pidgeotto:** so Keith and I tried talking to lance

**pidgeotto:** he wouldn't say anything

**m0thman:** he just deflected like he always does,,

**gru:** Allura was no help either

**gru:** she just went off on us

**candycorn:** Hunk wants to help

**candycorn:** can I add him in the chat?

**ghostboi:** as long as he's willing to help

**candycorn:** he is

**ghostboi:** then I don't see why not

****

**_candycorn_ ** _has added_ **_BOO!_ ** _to_ **_DRAMA ALERT_ **

****

**BOO!:** we have a gc for everything lol

**gru:** ,,, I'm only in like three,,,,

**gru:** are there any about me¿

**ghostboi:** he's on to us

**ghostboi:** SCATTER!

**pidgeotto:** mulaney ref or no?

**ghostboi:** most definitely a mulaney reference

**gru:** off topic

**BOO!:** so what's the game plan

**ghostboi:** we already,,,, did it,,,,

**gru:** our plan failed miserably

**gru:** hunk

**gru:** you're our only hope

**pidgeotto:** OBI WAN

**ghostboi:** pidgiam,,,

**ghostboi:** s to p

**BOO!:** I'm gonna talk to him today

**BOO!:** I'll go to his house and corner him idk

**BOO!:** no more of this texting bullshit bc it's going nowhere

**gru:** keep us updated?

**BOO!:** ofc

****

_(3:48 pm)_ **_BOO!_ ** _to_ **_shark tank fanclub:_ **

****

**BOO!:** Allura I know you're pissed at Lance so you probably don't care

**BOO!:** but I know everyone else in this chat does so I'm gonna tell you anyway

**BOO!:** (and yes, I got Lance's permission to tell you this)

**BOO!:** Lance's dad was just diagnosed with cancer so everything is really crazy rn

**gru:** o h

**ghostboi:** damn wow how long has he been,, hiding this?

**BOO!:** hey this is Lance using hunks phone

**BOO!:** I'm not activating my acc bc I need to like,,, relax lmao so yeet

**BOO!:** uhhhhm anyway dad was diagnosed like¿ a month ago?

**pidgeotto:** y the fcuk

**pidgeotto:** why didn't you,, tell us??

**BOO!:** idk it never came up

**BOO!:** I didn't want to bring down the mood or be overdramatic or something idk

**gru:** Lance that's not,,, overdramatic,,,,,

**candycorn:** ^^^^

**BOO!:** it's whatever I guess

**m0thman:** yo so,,, I know we joke a lot and 90% of our conversations are memes

**m0thman:** but we all care about you and we'll always be here for you

**m0thman:** you know I'm good at listening if there's ever something going on

**BOO!:** thanks keithy boy

**BOO!:** hunk wants his phone back so I'm gonna go

**BOO!:** probs won't hang with you guys at lunch still bc of Allura but I'll still see you tomorrow

**pidgeotto:** bye Lance

**ghostboi:** w ow,,,

**gru:** so hunk does that mean you guys made up?

**BOO!:** yep!

**BOO!:** I'm actually gonna go me and Lance are having a sleepover vent session

**gru:** oh okay

**m0thman:** god I wish I had friends

**gru:** shut your quiznak you sand goblin

**m0thman:** Lance is a bad influence,,,

****

_(6:02 pm)_ **_rejection_ ** _to_ **_the crush corner™:_ **

****

**rejection:** I'm gonna talk to him

**rejection:** tomorrow

**rejection:** obviously his dad having cancer doesn't,, change how I feel

**rejection:** but I've been doing some thinking and most of this while thing was blown out of proportion by _me_ , not lance

**ghostboi:** good

**ghostboi:** I'm tired of our group being split in half

**gru:** maybe this will finally be back to a dumb shitpost next chapter,,,

**gru:** all this drama and no crack had me,,,, uncomfy,,,

**ghostboi:** back at it again with breaking the fourth wall smh my head

**rejection:** at least he's not gay

**rejection:** OH WAIT

**gru:** excuse you I'm pan you filthy alien

**ghostboi:** it really do be like that,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah back to our regularly scheduled shitpost next chapter don't worry I'm done venting ALSO IM STARTING LIKE A COMIC ON INSTA WHERE IT’S BASICALLY THIS SO YEAH DJAHI PLS COME CHECK IT OUT [HERE](https://www.instagram.com/liketochange_texts/)  
> BC IM ENJOYING MYSELF uwu AND IM PROBABLY GONNA QUIT POSTING ON AO3 IF THE COMIC GOES WELL AND JUST START POSTING THERE IDK WE'LL SEE

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://smelly-milk.tumblr.com)


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